The Paradigm Shift Observations
by jesterkoops
Summary: Leonard has returned and is settling back into life at 4A. Except, he notices some things aren't quite the way he left them. His roommate's relationship with Amy, for example. (Shamy-centered, but Lenny seem to constantly sneak their way into this story, the little suckers!)
1. Chapter 1: The Handhold Implementation

**THE PARADIGM SHIFT OBSERVATIONS**

**Summary**: Leonard has returned and is settling back into life at 4A. Except, he notices some things aren't _quite_ the way he left them. His roommate's relationship with Amy, for example.

**Chapter 1: The Handhold Implementation**

**A/N**: There is a certain level of progress with Shamy that I would love to see already established at the start of S7, with the assumption that it happened over the lonely summer of Sheldon at 4A. This is going to be a series of one-shots exploring how that progress could be hinted to on-screen and how it might have come about off-screen.

I'll try to post a chapter at least every other Thursday over the summer hiatus. Wish me luck.

Special thanks to my wonderful beta, menamena, for helping this story see the light of day!

I obviously do not own TBBT or any of its characters.

* * *

Row D. _Nope_.

Row E. _Nope_.

Row F.

Leonard shuffles sideways through the row of theater seats Sheldon has finally settled upon. His roommate and Amy leading in front, Penny behind him.

As they reach the center of the row, Sheldon plops down into one of the seats, and the rest of them follow. Leonard sets his drink into the cup holder, and turns to smile at Penny, sitting next to him. He has missed her so, and three days after his return he still is getting used to being able to see her face again every morning.

Just as he's about to close the gap between them with a quick kiss on her lips, he hears movement to his right and his name being called from a distance. "Leonard?"

Leonard rolls his eyes at Sheldon's voice and turns to find an empty seat next to him, Amy and Sheldon having relocated two seats down.

Sheldon looks at him expectantly. "Sound is better here". He says, as if a total of three feet had a significant impact on the acoustics of the movie.

Leonard stares at the two for a moment, squinting into the darkness, but Amy just shrugs. Penny pats him on the arm and gestures for him to scoot along to the next seat. "Come on, before he changes his mind again."

He picks up his drink and moves over to the empty seat to the left of Amy. Sheldon shoots a satisfied smile at him, before sinking snugly down in his seat and turning his attention back to the screen as the previews start to play.

"Some things never change…" Leonard mutters to himself. Penny smirks at his comment and leans forward again for a kiss.

"Leonard?"

Leonard closes his eyes in defeat at yet another interruption, and Penny chuckles in his ear. "They truly don't…"

He turns around to Sheldon again with an exasperated look on his face, to find him holding out two pairs of 3D glasses that he fetched out of his messenger bag. "Here are your glasses."

"Sheldon, we got glasses with our tickets." Leonard waves the packaged item in his hand.

"Nonsense, these movie theaters simply repackage glasses that have been used by countless other movie goers before. Do you really want to wear those rather than these, which I have personally sanitized?"

Leonard draws his lips into a thin line, but nonetheless takes the glasses from Sheldon. "Thank you, Sheldon".

"You're welcome!" Sheldon smiles happily at him again.

And just as Leonard passes the other pair of glasses to Penny and is about to put his own on, he sees some movement out of the corner of his eye, and does a startled double take.

Sheldon puts his own glasses on, picks up his drink with his right hand and, as the lights dim and the opening credits start to roll, he reaches out for Amy with his left hand, entwines his fingers with hers and rests their joined hands on his knee.

Just like that.

Leonard fumbles with his own glasses at the sight, almost poking himself in the eye in the process, before nudging Penny with his elbow and leaning close to whisper in her ear. "Did you see that?!" he nods in the direction of Sheldon and Amy, now engrossed in the opening credits.

Penny leans forward to look over Leonard's seat at their friends, and then just leans back in her chair, picking up Leonard's drink from the cup holder nonchalantly. "Oh yeah, he does that now…" she answers, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Because, apparently, four and a half months after their last cinema trip, it is.

* * *

It had been the last time the gang had gone out together before Leonard's departure, and the first time in a long while since Sheldon and Amy had last gone to the movies. It seemed somehow fitting that the last movie they were going to see all together would be the opening of newest Star Trek, and to mark the event they had ensured Star Trek costumes were not optional, much to Penny's dismay.

It had also been the first time in over a year that Amy had not requested to hold his hand during the movie.

The usual anxious feeling that always sat at the pit of his stomach during the first few minutes of a movie, when he would steal nervous glances in her direction dreading the moment her open palm would present itself in his field of vision, had slowly dissipated as the movie had progressed. It had given way to a sequence of other feelings: anticipation, confusion, uneasiness, discomfort, worry.

He had tried to gauge her emotional state as best as he could, something that he had been drastically improving upon recently. But he had not been able to discern anything unusual. Her posture was composed and relaxed, her hands resting against the hem of her blue medical officer uniform, and she had even occasionally returned his gaze with one of her own, and a smile. From what little he could infer, everything seemed to be fine.

He had initially attributed that sequence of feelings to disruption in a routine he had not devised himself, but had become accustomed to: take a seat, drink some of the soda, watch the previews, return Amy's handhold some time during the opening credits, and, with occasional breaks for drinking, snacking or to attend to one bladder's needs, continue holding it until the end credits.

But there was one feeling that undermined his whole theory. The feeling that had puzzled him the most, and the one he was most uncomfortable analysing, was the last feeling he had experienced, just as the lights turned on again, signalling the end of the film: disappointment.

It had happened again a month later, when they had gone to see the newest Superman, just the two of them. And a third time another week after that. At their fourth trip to the movies, his anxiety levels had increased exponentially and he had spent the whole evening alternatively clenching his fists in his lap or gripping the armrest to stop from reaching out for her hand.

Because Sheldon Cooper was not a fan of handholding. And Sheldon Cooper was not a hypocrite.

But Sheldon Cooper did ask questions. So he had, on their next Date Night.

"May I ask, why have you stopped requesting we hold hands at the movies?" He suddenly blurted out in the middle of a conversation about high-tech artificial limbs.

Amy looked taken aback by the sudden change in the topic of conversation. She put down her fork against her plate and looked at him curiously. "Because you hate it, Sheldon. You've made that abundantly clear."

"I don't hate it, I'm just…" he insisted, before he had a chance to stop himself. Amy looked at him with a frown. He frowned himself as he continued. "… not a fan."

"Same difference."

"First of all, the phrase 'same difference' is an irritating oxymoron." He paused. "Secondly, there is a big difference between hating something and not being a fan. For example, I hate Loop Quantum Gravity and I'm not a fan of applying Spectral Geometry to unify quantum theory and general relativity. But while I most definitely think Loop Quantum Gravity is a pile of hokum, I can see some merits in Spectral Geometry."

He stopped, aware that he was starting to ramble, and regretting bringing up the topic in the first place.

Amy just regarded him with a barely noticeable smirk.

"Sheldon… do you _want_ me to hold your hand at the movies?"

"No! I mean... I got used to it. Now you've disrupted a routine and that is incredibly distressing."

Amy held his gaze for a moment longer, before turning her attention back to her food. "We haven't been holding hands at the cinema for months now, I'm sure you it won't take you much longer to fall back into your old cinematic experience routine."

"But I don't want to go back!" Sheldon exclaimed, exasperated, like a child being denied his favourite candy.

His eyes widened slightly, surprised at himself for his outburst, and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

Amy looked equally surprised, but, soon, her slightly open mouth curled into a small smile, her gaze softening as she spoke slowly. "Ok. Well. If it's distressing you this much we can start holding hands again."

Sheldon thought her voice sounded a bit hoarse, but was too busy feeling relieved that the conversation was over and that things would go back to normal to analyse that further.

"Good. Thank you, Amy." He broke eye contact and looked down at his food, putting the piece of chicken he had stabbed on his fork ten minutes prior into his mouth, and chewing nervously.

"You're welcome, Sheldon." Amy bit her lip to stop her smile from spreading too wide, and dug into her own food.

* * *

"You know I don't like it this way."

Halfway through the movie, Leonard turns around to peer at the couple next to him again, curious as to what the commotion is about this time.

"I'm sorry my hand was falling asleep." Amy releases his hand, after having attempted to change the handhold so that her fingers curled around the palm of his hand.

"It's sweatier this way. And _my_ hand falls asleep when you do that. It's uncomfortable."

Sheldon huffs and puts his now free hand on the armrest between their seats, with a pout.

Leonard can't see Amy's eyes in the darkness and through her glasses, but he's pretty sure they are rolling right now.

She stares at his hand for a moment longer, as if weighing her options, before resting hers on top of his and sneaking the tips of her fingers in the space between his knuckles.

Sheldon turns to look at their hands, then at her face. A small, but seemingly pleased, smile appears on his lips. "This is not bad. It isn't as sweaty as palm to palm inevitably becomes after prolonged contact and the positioning of the hands on the armrest prevents the crick in the arm I get from resting it against my knee at a weird angle to avoid the armrest."

He looks down at their hands again and his smile gets a bit bigger as he wraps his thumb around Amy's little finger. "Well done, Amy Farrah Fowler. We should add this to the list of approved handhold positions in the Relationship Agreement."

Leonard snorts quietly. Even though he can only see the back of her head from his position, he's known them long enough to know Amy is likely smiling at Sheldon like a lovesick puppy.

How romantic.

"Just a whole new level of weird." He mutters under his breath, before turning to Penny and implementing the Sheldon-approved cinema handhold himself.

* * *

**A/N**: That's all for this week. Hope you enjoyed. Chapter 2 coming (hopefully) soon.

*jingle*


	2. Chapter 2: The Domesticity Establishment

**Chapter 2: The Domesticity Establishment**

**Summary:** There's a new activity at 4A, according to the latest update to Sheldon's approved dining schedule.

**A/N:** Thank you all for the kind reviews. Just as a reminder, I **will** post a chapter **every other Thursday**, sorry to those who checked for updates a week after the first chapter ;) I **might** occasionally post with only a week in between, if time and inspiration allow, but that's not going to be the norm. I'm pretty pleased with myself for meeting my own deadline this week, not going to lie.

Thanks once again to my awesome beta, and to Andy for putting a little dialogue-bunny in my head.

Once again, I don't own TBBT, Shamy, Lenny or recipes for Tex-Mex.

* * *

"Oh, hey! So, I was thinking… since it's the first Saturday night that I'm back, why don't we all get together and go out for dinner and drinks?" Leonard looks expectantly at Penny, as they stand on the landing between their apartments. "What do you say?"

"But it's Tex-Mex Night." Penny and Sheldon object in unison.

Leonard turns around to Sheldon, as he fiddles with the plastic bag in his hand, and then back to his girlfriend, utterly confused. "Tex-Mex Night?"

"Yes." Sheldon's voice goes high pitched, the way it always does when he feels like he's stating the obvious. "Every Saturday night at 6.15pm, Amy and I cook Tex-Mex food and then do my laundry at 8.15. Did you not read the latest version of the Roommate Agreement?"

"What? Oh… well…" Leonard is stumped and turns to Penny. "You knew about this?"

"Yes, I join them every once in a while." She nods happily, but her smile then turns into a small cringe. "When I'm hyped up on enough coffee to stay awake through their conversations…"

"Don't worry, Leonard. We have already ensured there are enough ingredients to feed you too, tonight." Sheldon smiles reassuringly.

Leonard looks between his girlfriend and his best friend, a couple of times. "Well… Um. Ok, then?"

He goes to unlock the front door only to discover it's already open.

The sight of Amy unpacking groceries on the kitchen counter greets the trio as they enter the apartment. "Hello, everyone."

"Oh, hi Amy…" Leonard drops the keys into the bowl, frowning as he spots and removes a die from there. "How did you get in?"

"She has a key, Leonard." Sheldon states, walking past him towards his desk.

"She does?"

"Yes. I added her name to the spare-key bearer list in the same revision of the Roommate Agreement I sent you over a month ago." Sheldon puts his messenger bag down in his chair and turns to Leonard, exasperated. "Did you seriously not read any of it?"

"I'm sorry! I've been busy. You know, working for Stephen Hawking and all!" he aims for Sheldon's sore spot to dissuade him from ranting on about the updates to the RA.

It works.

"Fine. Well. You should catch up on the updates. Since you haven't given me notice of any objections within the stipulated 10-day window, all modifications stand until the next revision."

"Well, if all modifications involve me getting home cooked food for dinner, you most definitely have no objections from me!" Leonard hops onto one of the stools at the kitchen island, inspecting the groceries Amy has been meticulously lining up. "So… how did this whole Tex-Mex Night thing come about?"

* * *

Sheldon sighed happily, as he fastened his seatbelt and threw one more look over his shoulder at his brand new HO train set laying securely in the backseat of Amy's car.

"Well, that was a productive Saturday afternoon."

Amy snorted. "For you, maybe. I have all my grocery shopping left to do and it's nearly 5.30."

Sheldon turned to look at her as she pulled out of the parking spot. "You could have gone while I was making my purchase."

"I would have, had I known it was going to take you over an hour to make up your mind about which locomotive to buy!"

Soon, they were bottled up in the late afternoon traffic, slowly moving along in the sea of cars. Sheldon took control of the air-conditioning, trying to adjust the temperature in the vehicle to an acceptable level.

"I think, after the setback to my day caused by your little train store trip, it's only fair you make it up to me by buying me dinner somewhere." Amy continued, half-joking.

Sheldon, as usual, took it literally. "I can't eat out."

Amy glanced at him with a frown. "Why not? You don't have any particular meal schedule for Saturday nights, we've eaten out before."

"It's too late."

"5.30 is late?"

"Yes. It's Laundry Night." He calmly explained. "Considering it will take us roughly 20 minutes to arrive at Whole Foods, another 40 minutes, plus or minus 5 minutes to account for the speed at checkout on a Saturday prevening, for you to do your shopping, and another 20 minutes, plus or minus 10 minutes to account for the Saturday prevening traffic, to get back to Los Robles, we would only have an hour, plus or minus 15 minutes, to select an approved dining establishment, drive over there, consume our meals and drive back to Los Robles in time for me to start laundry."

Sheldon finally paused to take a breath, satisfied with his thorough explanation of the impracticality of dining out. "Which, as we know from previous experience, is not an adequate amount of time for us to enjoy a meal on a Saturday night."

However, as Amy stole a glance at her wristwatch and huffed in defeat, Sheldon found a compromise slip out of his mouth before he could help himself. "But I could offer to buy you takeout?"

The car came to a halt at a traffic light and Amy turned to look at him, pleasantly surprised. Sheldon was looking at her with an expectant expression that told her he was being serious.

And an even better idea had already formed in her head. "How about this?" she paused, making her decision. "We cook."

It was Sheldon's turn to frown. "How is that going to save time?"

"Well…" Amy set the car in motion again, already bubbling with excitement at the plan. "We can get all the ingredients at the grocery store, which will save us a drive over to whatever takeout restaurant you decide to go to. Then, while you sort and prepare your laundry, I can get started on dinner."

Sheldon's frown was slowly turning into a small smile and she intervened before he got the wrong idea. "Then _you_ will help me with the rest of the cooking." She smirked at him. "We can have a lovely home cooked meal, and, while you start up your laundry, I will do the dishes."

Sheldon turned to look straight ahead at the windscreen for a moment. Amy knew he wasn't too fond of cooking and considered it to be mostly a waste of time. Although, she did get a glimpse of his culinary skills on a few occasions. "_Damn, that sourdough bread was good…_"

Just as she was contemplating whether she should drop the idea altogether or suggest they bake some sourdough bread, Sheldon interrupted her train of thoughts.

"That sounds acceptable." He nodded firmly at her.

* * *

"I smell Mexican food."

Penny's head snuck through the door at 4A, and she sniffed the air excitedly.

"It's Tex-Mex." Sheldon looked disapprovingly at his neighbor from across the apartment. "But close enough."

"Wow, you are cooking?!" Penny made her way over to the island, surveying the bowls of chopped peppers, avocados, tomatoes and tortillas that covered the counter. "I don't think I remember the last time I saw this kitchen being used for meals that aren't breakfast."

She took a seat on one of the stools and grabbed a piece of pepper from one of the bowls, putting it in her mouth. Sheldon quickly reached out to grab hold of the bowl. "Don't touch the food!"

He shot her an irritated look as he turned to the sink to rinse its contents once again.

Penny smirked at his obsessive ways, before reaching for some cheese in another bowl while his back was turned to her. "Isn't this a lot of food for one person?" She asked, aware that the tone of her voice didn't exactly hide her veiled attempt to coerce an invitation out of Sheldon to join him in his Mexican feast.

"I'm not cooking for one."

"Hey bestie." Amy appeared right behind Penny's stool, making her jump, and she passed a can of re-fried beans to Sheldon. "Here they are, they probably rolled out of the bag and were left in the trunk."

"Oh, hey Ames, didn't know you were hanging out over here tonight."

Amy made her way around the counter, as Sheldon impatiently fiddled around with the pots and pans and gestured for her to take over. "Hurry, Amy, I need to get my laundry ready."

She moved up to the stove and in front of Sheldon. He shoved the spatula into her hand and moved away to head towards his bedroom, dodging her body as he did so.

"I wasn't planning to, but after Sheldon made me spend an hour at the train store today, we decided a home cooked meal would be a fair compromise." Amy spoke over her shoulder.

Penny sniffed the air again. "Mmmm… I do love me some good Tex-Mex."

"You can join us, if you like?"

Sheldon exited the hallway holding his laundry basket and stopped dead in his tracks. "Really, Amy? First you want me to cook, then we're feeding Penny? What next? Are we opening a shelter for the homeless in Leonard's room?"

"Sheldon. Be nice. She's been driving you to work every morning."

Penny grinned smugly at Sheldon. "Oh, it's ok Amy, maybe he prefers taking the bus."

Sheldon clenched his lips uncomfortably, staring the two women down. "Fine. But don't make a habit out of this. You're already constantly eating our takeout, I'm not going to become your personal restaurant."

"Don't worry sweetie, I won't make a habit of crashing your romantic meals for two." She winked at him.

* * *

"And so I went through all the references I was going to use for my paper and you'd be surprised at the number of published journal articles that use parametric tests on data that is very unlikely to be normally distributed, and without even specifying whether they've run any tests of normality and homogeneity of variance or whether they have confirmed the significance with non-parametric tests." Amy dipped a tortilla chip in the bowl of guacamole and munched on it in a fit of rage. "It's unbelievable! It makes you wonder. What is the point of the peer-review process if the people who accept these articles don't even question the authors about such fundamental statistical issues? It's like… like…"

"Like undergraduates…" Sheldon snorted in disgust.

"Exactly!" Amy nodded vigorously before taking a sip of her water and turning to Penny, who had been observing the two in silence from her oversized armchair for a good fifteen minutes.

As she felt their eyes on her, the blonde also nodded with conviction, waving her hand in the air. "Totally!"

Penny took an uncomfortable sip of water. "It's like being at their first date all over again_._" She mumbled under her breath.

"I'm sorry, what?" Sheldon leaned in to hear her better.

"Nothing! Nothing." Penny got up, brushing her hands on her jeans. "I was just saying it's getting late. You have laundry to do. I'll do the dishes to repay you for this lovely meal and then I'll get out of your hair."

Sheldon tried to stop her. "Amy was meant to do the dishes."

"Oh it's ok, sweetie, I don't mind." Penny had already collected most of the plates and was making her way to the sink.

"I can help you start your laundry?" Amy suggested, not yet ready to leave and go home to her empty apartment.

Sheldon snorted. "No." He got up from the couch and picked up his basket from the hallway.

Amy narrowed her eyes at him, also standing up. "Why not?"

"Laundry is a very delicate process that needs to follow a precise procedure to the letter in order to ensure none of my garments will be ruined. I doubt you're aware of the procedure." He said with a tilt of his head, and the basket resting against his hip.

"Sheldon, I know your procedure, I've helped you put laundry away before."

"I'm pretty sure you don't." He sneered condescendingly at her. "But thanks for offering."

"Oh yeah?" Amy felt up to a challenge. She followed behind him as he headed for the door. "One measure of soap, one and a half measures of softener?"

Sheldon turned around, taken aback at the questioning. "Umm…Yes."

"Sheets washed separately?"

"Yes."

"Dark colors separate from light colors?"

"Yes."

"Socks folded, not rolled?"

"Of course! Who rolls socks? That wears out the elastic." Sheldon shot a glance at Penny while saying so, speaking deliberately louder.

"So?"

Sheldon studied Amy for a moment longer, but she already knew she had passed the last barrier.

"Very well. To the laundry room!" He announced with a wave of his arm, moving aside to let her walk out of the door.

* * *

"Ok, my laundry is sorted and ready to go, I can take over the cooking from here."

Sheldon makes his way back into the kitchen, moving up behind Amy and grabbing the spatula out of her hand from above her head. He lightly nudges her out of his way with a hand on her hip. "You can get started on the guacamole, as per usual. And be prompt, we're slightly behind schedule tonight."

Leonard observes the two as they smoothly swap places and turns to Penny with a raised eyebrow. She smiles back at him from her stool, leaning in to whisper "So cute" and reaches out for a piece of the avocado Amy has started to chop.

"Penny."

She rolls her eyes and drops her hand back onto Leonard's knee at Sheldon's reprimand.

"How does he do that?" she mouths to Amy, tilting her chin in the direction of his back.

Amy just shrugs with a smile and keeps on chopping the avocados.

"I have to say, this is a lovely addition to the Roommate Agreement. If my going away has these results, maybe I should do it more often."

Penny's hand tightens almost imperceptibly on his knee and Leonard is quick to notice the mild look of panic that she's trying her best to hide.

That pleases him even more than the addition of the home cooked dinner, and he squeezes her hand with his own in reassurance. "I'm only joking. It' just that I half expected Sheldon to fall apart while I was gone. Or to be flushed down a toilet." he chuckles at Penny and elicits a confused look from Amy. "Instead, I get an upgraded Sheldon! Thanks for looking after him, girls."

"Oh, what nonsense." Sheldon voices his disagreement, sprinkling some Cayenne pepper in the pan. "I am perfectly capable of functioning on my own."

The three friends stop what they're doing and share a knowing look, before chorusing together:

"Sure."

* * *

**A/N:** Hope I delivered to satisfaction. Chapter 3 is in the works. I have a few tricks up my sleeve for the rest of this story, which might make the story more complex (and hopefully more interesting) than I originally planned, but it might require you readers to keep track of details ;)

Speaking of details, bonus points for those who spotted the Easter Egg (although you do need to be a regular chatter at TBBT forums to get it. There is only one person who should be ashamed of themselves if they don't notice it).

*jingle*


	3. Chapter 3: The Pollical Impairment

**Chapter 3: The Pollical Impairment**

**Summary:** Life gets hard for the Homo Novus when he is temporarily knocked a few notches down the evolutionary tree.

**A/N:** Phew. Well, this is a monster chapter, I'll warn you. It just kept growing and growing, so it's far longer than the previous ones. I'm actually kind of unsure as to how it turned out. I've been told it feels more 'slice of life' than Shamy fanfic, but that's part of the feel I wanted to give to the overall story, so... here goes. Easter Eggs abound in this one too, some more subtle than others.

**IMPORTANT** (for the purpose of the overall fanfic): From one chapter to the next, present-time scenes are always in chronological order. Flashbacks, however, are **not** necessarily in chronological order, but there are details that will help you put them in order as you read on.

Thank you again for taking the time to R/R, and to menamena who finds the time to beta in the midst of her busy summer. As usual, I don't own anything, not even my soul. Shamy own that one.

* * *

The very first thing Leonard sees on his first day back at work is Howard's ridiculous pose, saluting from the sidewalk. "Arrrr Captain!" He greets.

Leonard chuckles as he steps out of the car, slamming the door shut behind him and causing Sheldon to jump like a startled deer and run off onto the sidewalk.

He shakes his head and sighs. "I'm sorry, Sheldon."

Sheldon brings a hand to his heart and exhales, closing his eyes and nodding dramatically in acceptance of his roommate's apology.

"Still quite jumpy, uh?" Howard comments. "Consider yourself lucky you don't have to ride in a car with my mother. She even managed to shatter a window once from the force she uses to slams the door shut."

Sheldon shudders, clenching his fists, and starts making his way towards the physics building.

"I still need to get used to this new phobia of his." Leonard throws his bag over his shoulder. "As if we needed another one. I had only recently managed to get him past his fear of Count Choucula so I could finally buy some for breakfast."

Sheldon turns to correct him over his shoulder. "It's not a phobia, Leonard. It's simple Pavlovian conditioning. I hear that sound, my amygdala reacts to it in anticipation of the aversive event. It isn't persistent fear, nor am I avoiding cars or car doors. Therefore it's not a phobia. It is more akin to PTSD."

"You do not have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Sheldon."

"For now. Who knows what might happen if you keep up with this careless door-slamming of yours." Sheldon's body shakes with another shudder. "I would just ask you to shut the door delicately from now on, please."

"Fine. I said sorry."

The trio makes their way into the building.

"You're actually quite lucky I developed fear-potentiated startles at the sound of car doors instead of the sight of your girlfriend." Sheldon adds.

"Terrific."

"At least you only have to put up with his reflexive jerks, you should have tried being around him right after it happened." Howard mutters to Leonard. "I guess our ancestors were a pretty grouchy bunch before the advent of opposable thumbs."

* * *

Penny tapped her fingers impatiently on the steering wheel, checking the clock on her dashboard every other second. "Oh, come on! Why don't you just get out of the car and push! You'll get there faster!" She shouted at the slow-moving cars in front of hers.

"Your check engine light is on again." Sheldon commented calmly from the passenger seat.

"I know, Sheldon." She pressed down hard on the horn. "Come on!"

"Are you planning on getting your engine checked out again?"

"Yes, Sheldon." She steered aggressively out of the way of the car in front of her, overtaking it and skidding into the parking lot of CalTech.

"I think you should get a second opinion. It is possible your mechanic is simply trying to maximize his earnings by reassuring you everything is still in working order so you continue to take your car to his workshop for inevitable repairs until this old pile of rust exhales its last breath."

"Since when are you a car expert?" Penny turned off the engine and checked her phone quickly.

"Just because I don't drive doesn't mean I am not aware of elementary business tactics. I observed Steve Jobs for years."

"Ok, ok. I'll get it checked out by another mechanic. Now, move please, I have a Skype date with Leonard and I'm running late!" She pushed down the button to unfasten his seatbelt herself, and nearly shoved him in the direction of the door.

Sheldon adjusted his bag against his chest, mildly offended at her manners, and stepped out of the car.

Less than a second later, his head appeared in the door again. "Penny, you should perhaps consider…"

"Bye, Sheldon!" Penny reached across the passenger seat and, in the blink of an eye, she slammed the door shut.

She missed Sheldon's startled look over her abrupt interruption.

But even over the sound of metal hitting metal, she did not miss the scream of agony that came out of Sheldon's mouth.

* * *

"I'm sorry, he just insisted on calling you. It's doesn't sound like it's anything too serious." Penny apologized, as she directed Amy through the doors of the ER waiting room.

"I'm his Emergency Contact. If I had a penny for every time I've been called over for literally no reason..." Amy explained with a wave of her hand. "At least this time it sounds like it's an actual injury."

She sighed, bracing herself for the usual dose of agitated Sheldon.

Instead, when she spotted her boyfriend across the room, her heart broke a little at how miserable he looked. Huddled in his chair and looking very pale, Sheldon stared ahead with wide eyes, his hands wrapped in wet towels and ice packs in his lap.

Amy made a beeline to his chair and took a seat right next to him. "Sheldon! You're actually hurt?"

She reached for his hands but he recoiled. "Of course I am!" he stared at her, offended that she would even think he'd have her come without a valid reason. His lower lip trembled lightly. "It hurts, Amy…"

"Can I see?" she gestured towards his hands again, and he reluctantly let her unwrap the towels and ice packs, turning his head away and shivering.

Amy could guess why. There was a fair amount of dried blood for someone who faints at the sight of a paper cut. The joints around his thumbs had swelled significantly already and the slight hint of subcutaneous bleeding had started tainting the skin.

"They've already given him painkillers and they don't think anything is broken, but they'll do some X-Rays to be sure." Penny explained calmly, standing next to the couple. "One of them was dislocated though."

"How did this happen, again?" Amy gently placed the cloths back into place around Sheldon's hands.

"He was leaning on his hands against the car roof, and I guess his thumbs were on the edge so when I went to shut the door… well… I caught them in the door."

"You did this?" Amy's eyes were suddenly wide on her and Penny took a step back, feeling slightly insecure.

"Y…yes. I didn't _mean_ to, of course!" she replied, defensively. "Look, I'm soooo sorry!"

"She mauled me!" Sheldon exclaimed, accusatorily. "I might lose my thumbs now and be crippled forever and it's all her fault!"

At that moment, Penny noticed her phone had been ringing incessantly in her purse. She took that as an opportunity to escape the wrath of the Shamy.

"Leonard! I'm _so_ sorry honey, I don't think I'm going to make it home any time soon." She walked away, out of earshot of the two. "Well, you know when you told me I could flush Sheldon down the toilet and get you a new one?" she paused. "I think I went pretty close today…"

* * *

"Oh, nuts!" Sheldon cursed at the smeared, half-illegible equation on his whiteboard.

He gave an irritated glance to the side of his hand, curled in fist to hold the marker, thumb sticking out straight in its splint. It was covered in a powdery residue of ink from where it rubbed against the surface of the whiteboard.

For the seventh time that evening.

He closed his eyes and took a long, defeated breath, before turning on his heels and taking a seat in his spot.

"It's absolutely dreadful!" he reached for his food and balanced it on his knees. "I have no choice but to give that girl access to all my secrets. I have literally been pouring out to her all my newest and most innovative ideas for the past three days." He huffed. "For all I know she's taking notes, making copies and is secretly planning on running off to some hippy institution like… _Berkeley_ and publish it all under her name!"

The group looked on, as Sheldon stubbornly attempted to hold his chopsticks between his index and middle fingers, only to finally wrap his fist around one, spear a dumpling and shove it aggressively into his mouth.

They all exchanged a look.

"Why don't you just type it up yourself? I know it's slower, but is it really worth having a 'scribe'" Amy made air quotations around the new title he had bestowed upon his assistant. "if it bothers you so much?"

"My WPM rate has dropped to 42 since the injury. It's simply not fast enough to keep up with this output." Sheldon tapped one of his chopsticks against his temple, and he lightly scratched the stubble that had been accumulating on his cheek.

From her seat next to him, a shiver went through Amy's spine at the sound.

"Wait a minute…" Howard interrupted. "Are you telling me that you haven't thought about setting up a speech recognition system into Latex? Like Dragon or something?"

Sheldon dropped his chopsticks into his noodles once again and stopped to stare at Howard, dumbfounded. "Oh."

Howard snickered. "Look at that? Is the Homo Novus losing his smarts as well as his opposable thumbs?"

"Awww. Who's a Homo Sapiens now?" Bernadette cooed.

"Actually, opposable thumbs were first reported in the Homo Habilis." Amy corrected him.

"Which means Sheldon could even be a Homo Erectus now." Howard and Raj both burst into giggles.

Sheldon rolled his eyes as he struggled with his chopsticks some more, before giving up and reluctantly grabbing hold of the fork Amy was holding out in front of his face.

"Of course I would have thought of that solution myself! Had my faculties not been clouded by painkillers." He put a shaky forkful of food in his mouth, much in the way a three-year-old learning to use cutlery would. "But thank you for the suggestion, Howard."

He raised his eyes from his food to find Howard and Raj giving him thumbs up.

* * *

"Oh come on, you can't go to Comic Con like that, Sheldon!" Raj slapped his hands on his thighs and leant back in his chair in frustration.

"Well, maybe I will be the new Clark Kent." Sheldon unfolded a napkin onto his lap.

Howard snorted. "You mean you'll go as a fisherman?"

Amy pursed her lips, deep in thought. "You know… I do wonder. What does he use to shave?"

Bernadette turned her attention to her. "What?"

"Yes. You know… if his body is meant to be so strong, surely his facial hair must be pretty sturdy too. So I wonder, how does he shave? Or cut his hair for that matter?"

"Look at her. Asking questions about super heroes!" Sheldon beamed.

"Oh my God, are we still discussing Sheldon's beard?" Penny arrived to their table and started distributing their orders.

"It's not a _beard_. It's just…" Sheldon's eye twitched as he scratched his face. "… a bit of stubble". He scratched his face again. Having not shaven in nearly a week, this was the most facial hair anyone had ever seen on Sheldon since the North Pole expedition.

Amy squirmed a little in her seat.

Howard leaned his hands on the table and forward towards Sheldon. "Listen, we were going to go as the Galactica crew. We are not going to change to the Justice League."

"I could be Wolverine."

"We are not changing our plans for the group costume just because you refuse to shave!"

"Excuse me! I'm incapacitated!" Sheldon held up his hands, thumbs still heavily bandaged, to emphasize his point. "I am not letting hands that can barely coordinate enough to hold markers and cutlery anywhere near my face with a razor blade."

"Sheldon, for the tenth time this week. Please let me shave you. I cannot take another car ride, or dinner, with you scratching your face any longer." Penny brought her hands together against her chest, as she begged. "I just can't."

"After what you did to my hair last time you cut it?! One injury is enough, I don't need you to cut off my face." He scratched his face again, with a frown.

"You could go as something that requires a mask." Amy interjected, and then paused, staring dreamily at his chin. "So you don't have to shave." She added, in a soft voice.

Bernadette narrowed her eyes at her, before shaking her head with a smirk.

"Yes! I could go as a Cylon Centurion!" Sheldon bounced in his chair, enthusiastically.

"That isn't a member of the crew!"

"Well, desperate times call for desperate measures. I will just have to be the antagonist this time."

"Really? So you're going to make the costume in…" Howard checked his watch. "… less than 72 hours?"

"You bet I will."

* * *

He didn't.

Friday morning rolled, and Sheldon stood in front of the bathroom mirror.

He awkwardly sprayed some shaving foam onto the palm of his left hand, pressing down on the can with the palm of his right hand. The can slipped on the wet surface, off the sink, and rolled across the bathroom floor. "Drats."

At the noise, the bathroom door opened fully. "What are you doing?"

Sheldon hauled himself up from his crouching position to find Amy staring at him with an alarmed expression.

"I'm surrendering." he replied, setting the can back onto the sink and squirting some more foam in his hands.

"You are going to try and shave?" her voice sounded even more alarmed.

"Yes. We are leaving tonight and my Cylon costume is nowhere near ready. I have no choice. And…" his eye twitched, and he let out a shudder, vigorously scratching the side of his face that wasn't covered in foam. "… and I can't take _this_ anymore!"

Amy reached out quickly to grab the razor off the sink. "Are you sure? I mean… I can help you finish the costume, how much more work is there left?"

Sheldon gave her a curious expression through the mirror, as he finished covering the left side of his face. "Well… technically, I haven't really started."

"Oh."

He turned to face her and held out his hand for the razor. Amy reluctantly handed it over.

Sheldon took a deep breath and concentrated on his reflection. Wrapping his healthy four fingers in a fist around the razor, he brought a shaky his hand to his face.

"Wait!"

Nearly startled into dropping the razor, he turned back to Amy in confusion. "What?"

"You seem pretty shaky, are you sure this is wise?"

"I don't have much of a choice." Sheldon turned back to the mirror, determined.

The blade made first contact with his skin and he adjusted the angle, trying not to cause himself harm.

The silence was interrupted by a small, pained whimper coming from Amy.

Sheldon dropped his hand once more, and let out an exasperated sight. "What _is _the matter with you?"

Amy's voice sounded unnaturally high-pitched. "Nothing! Nothing!" She brought a hand to her mouth.

Sheldon narrowed his eyes at her, before initiating another attempt. His reflection stared back at him, before setting its fearful gaze on the shaky blade once again.

Images of cuts and blood filled his mind, and he shuddered.

"I can't do this."

"Told you!" Amy sounded excessively gleeful.

"You're going to have to do it." He presented her with the razor in his open palm.

"Wait… what?" she looked down at the object, momentarily stumped.

"I am clearly not coordinated enough to do it." He shook the razor for emphasis. "You cut brains for a living, your hands are surely the steadiest of anyone I know."

His logic was, once again, undeniable.

But Amy stalled.

"What if I don't want to?" she looked at the floor, kicking some non-existing dirt with her foot.

"What?"

"Well… Ok. Here's the thing." She looked up at his foamy face, and let out a breath of surrender. "I kind of… I kind of like this facial hair thing."

Sheldon was dumfounded. "What can you possibly like about facial hair? It's prickly, uncomfortable, unhygienic and would probably feel like sandpaper against your skin."

Amy's widening eyes made him realize what he had just implied.

He blushed under the foam at the heightened tension in the room, and cleared his throat. "I mean… humans don't live in the wild any longer. There's no purpose for facial hair."

After a moment or two of uncomfortable silence, Amy also nervously cleared her throat. "O… ok."

Once the razor was secure in her hand, the clumsy dance to accomplish the task began, accounting for the height difference and the attempts to keep physical contact to a minimum.

Amy reached up, but Sheldon was too tall.

He tried leaning down but the angle wasn't optimal and his back was starting to get sore.

He tried half sitting against the sink, but he kept slipping and was uncomfortable.

Finally, Sheldon sat down on the edge of the bathtub.

He closed his eyes for a while, feeling the blade delicately slide down the sides of his face with surgical precision. He listened to the sounds: scratch, feet shuffling away toward the sink, rinse, feet shuffling back toward him, and repeat.

Sheldon found the whole procedure surprisingly soothing, until he felt her nudge his knees apart to make space for her and the blade settle on his upper lip.

He suddenly tensed and opened his eyes, only to find Amy way closer than he expected, her eyes intensely focused on the task and deliberately avoiding his.

Sheldon's eyes crossed as he stared at the razor under his nose, moving in short, quick motions. When the strain in his eyes became too much he let his eyes wander over across Amy's arm to her chin.

Then slowly down her neck.

Then following the pale skin down under her collarbone, to where it disappeared into the V of her blouse.

"Amy…"

Amy stopped her ministrations and leaned back ever so slightly to look him in the eye, only to find him fixated on her chest.

"Where is your t-shirt?"

She blushed and stammered. "Oh… I… I… forgot to bring a clean one with me."

Sheldon nodded and closed his eyes again, expression unreadable.

She resumed shaving, before he softly spoke again. "You may borrow one of my smaller shirts, if you would like."

Amy stopped again, mildly stunned, until he opened one eye curiously, questioning the renewed interruption.

"Um. I'll be ok. It's too hot these days, anyway…" she watched as Sheldon closed his eyes, waiting patiently. "But… thank you."

As she set to conclude her task, an almost imperceptible smile broke through his neutral expression.

* * *

*click* *click* *click*

Leonard pinches the bridge of his nose. "Sheldon…"

Sheldon lifts his head from the notes he's been perusing through, sitting in the car with his bag half open on his lap. "What?"

"Can you stop that?"

"Stop what?" he asks, confused.

"That clicking noise you keep making with your thumb, it's annoying."

"Oh, you can hear that? That's because my joint didn't heal properly into place." Sheldon explains. "See?" he flexes his thumb up and down a few times, eliciting a barely noticeable clicking noise at each movement.

"Yeah, fine… just… don't do that, ok?" Leonard, legs swung out of the open car door, turns back to the emptying parking lot. "Where is Howard?" he checks his watch.

He hears the sound of a laptop keyboard behind him, and from the corner of his eye he sees Sheldon now busily typing away.

Then there's a pause.

*click* *click* *click*

Some more typing.

*click* *click* *click*

Leonard closes his eyes.

*click* *click* *click*

As Howard jogs to the car, Leonard swings his legs back into the driver's seat.

*click* *click* *click*

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late. Got caught up with something."

"That's ok, Howard." Leonard narrows his eyes at Sheldon, who's obliviously staring at his laptop screen, deep in thought.

*click* *click* *cli…

The sound of both doors violently slamming shut make Sheldon jump high enough in his seat to bump his head against the roof of the car, dropping papers, pens, Purell and other contents of his bag all over the front seats, and nearly dropping his laptop.

He turns around to the two looking at him with a pleased smirk. "Why did you do that?!" he exclaims, rubbing the top of his head.

Leonard picks up the stuff that's fallen over to his side. "Instrumental conditioning." He passes the papers, with precariously balanced pens and a die on top of them, back to Sheldon. "I'm getting you to unlearn your new habit by negative reinforcement."

Leonard smugly smiles, as he sets the car in drive. Sheldon stuffs his belongings back in his bag, irritated.

"Curse you."

* * *

**A/N:** Hope you're still awake! Like I said, I'm not sure whether I delivered or not in this one, but I hope it wasn't too excruciatingly long. See you all in a couple of weeks.

*jingle*


	4. Chapter 4: The Ubiquity Impossibility

**Chapter 4: The Ubiquity Impossibility**

**Summary: **Being a supportive bestie and a wonderful girlfriend is not easy. Especially when one has to be both at the same time.

**A/N:** First of all, I am terribly sorry for the delayed update. I moved this month and have been working 14-hour days, so that set me back greatly on my writing schedule. But, on a positive note, this chapter is even longer than the last *and* I am possibly going to update next week instead of two weeks time. So you might get two doses of TPSO in a very short period of time.

Thanks a lot to my good buddy Lio for helping me get over the writers block I had halfway through this chapter.

No particular Easter Eggs to find in this one, except for some fun with numbers.

As always, I don't own anything. If I did, you would hear none of that paradox crap at Comic Con.

* * *

"Ow. Ouch! Owww!"

"What?" Penny pants, disheveled and breathless, as she raises her head from the crook of his neck, where her mouth had been keeping busy.

"Something is poking me…" Leonard shuffles his body under his girlfriend's and reaches a hand behind his back, digging around in the couch cushions.

A few moments later, he presents the offending object to Penny.

"Must have gotten lost last time we played D&D…" Penny grabs the dice out of Leonard's hand and hastily tosses it across the room, pouncing on him again. "Have I told you…" she says in between kisses "how much… I… missed you?"

"In the last week? About… fifteen… times… a day… yes…" Leonard smiles in between kisses, wrapping his arms back around her.

"Oh good Lord, here we go again…"

The sound of keys dropping into the bowl interrupts their amorous activities, and they both sheepishly turn to look at the front door.

"You guys are back already?" Leonard tries not to sound too disappointed.

"Yes." Sheldon drops his bag in his chair as Amy makes her way to the fridge. "It seems like every single school in Pasadena has decided to take their obnoxious students to the opening of this exhibition tonight." He shudders.

"As used as I am to being around temperamental primates, I have to admit the visitors to that museum tonight were too much even for me." Amy adds, passing a drink to Sheldon.

Sheldon takes the bottle from Amy and turns around to the other couple, still half-sprawled across the couch.

He puts his hands on his hips. "You're in our spots."

Leonard rolls his eyes and goes to get up. "Sorry Shel…" he stops. "Wait… OUR spots?"

"Yes."

"Since when does Amy have a spot?" Leonard looks up at Sheldon, now hovering in front of him, ready to reclaim his seat.

"Since June 23rd." he puts his hands on his hip. "Seriously, Leonard. Roommate agreement updates. You still haven't read them?"

Leonard shoots a glance at Penny, straightening his clothes and glasses. As she moves to get out of 'Amy's spot', the blonde leans in to whisper in his ear. "I told you…"

* * *

"What?!" Leonard chuckled out loud, and his image froze on the screen for few seconds or so.

Penny frowned, for the fifth time that evening, waiting for the video to stop buffering.

"Yes, I'm telling you. They're practically living together these days." She explained, once the connection reestablished itself. "But, for the love of God, don't mention it to Sheldon, if you speak to him. I don't think they've even noticed and you don't want to cause a freak out."

Leonard shook his head, which jittered across four freeze-frames, before settling again. "Don't wor… won't". He reassured her. "But at least… takes work… your hands!"

Penny sighed at the disconnected sentences, but she had thankfully gotten fairly apt at deciphering them during the past few months. "Yeah, it's definitely getting easier on me. Finally!" she looked down at her keyboard and picked a crumb off of it. "I definitely relate to Raj a lot more now, though. Playing third wheel gets pretty old, pretty fast."

"Well, don't relate to him too much… don't want you… needing alcohol… talk to men now that he…. need it!" Leonard's laugh turned into a frown as he watched a blurry Penny suddenly recoil and take the headphones off her head.

Penny rubbed her ears, wincing, and gingerly put them back on her head. "Hello?"

"Yes?"

"Sorry, static noise. Nearly pierced my ears." She shook her head, dismally. "The connection keeps getting worse. We should probably call it a night. Or morning, in my case." She attempted a smile.

Leonard's gaze softened. "You ok?"

Penny nodded. A bit too vigorously. "Yes." Then she let out another sigh, and her expression clouded slightly again. "I just… miss you."

*Knock knock knock* "Penny?"

*Knock knock knock* "Penny?"

*Knock knock knock* "Penny?"

Penny rolled her eyes and shouted: "Just a minute, Sh…" she then stopped and frowned. "Amy?"

Leonard laughed out loud. "Ok, you gotta give it to her for having a sense of humor."

Penny pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head, half smiling. "I have to go…"

"Bye, Penny. I love you."

Penny smiled another tight smile, swallowing. "I love you, too."

She went to close the screen.

"Hey?" Leonard stopped her. He looked at her worryingly, but tried to sound reassuring. "Less than 4 weeks to go!"

Penny inhaled deeply and nodded. "Goodnight, Leonard."

She closed the call and got up from her kitchen table to walk to the front door.

As expected, Amy stood on the other side with a cheerful grin on her face. "Good morning, bestie!"

Her grin quickly faded when she saw her friend's rather unhappy expression. "Is everything ok?"

Penny attempted a smile. "Yeah, everything is…" she stopped, took a breath and her voice trembled lightly. "… fine."

Amy regarded her with an unconvinced look. "Are you sure?"

Penny waved her hand at her. "Yeah!"

But it only took one look at Amy's concerned face, and she sniffed, and cracked.

"I don't understand! I'vebeenawayafromhimallsummerbeforebut…this feelsdifferent… and… and…" Penny started waving her hands in the air in a frenzy, speaking so fast Amy could barely understand what she was saying.

Taken aback by the sudden outburst, Amy reached out a hand to awkwardly pat her on her shoulder.

"There, there…" she cooed, as Penny wiped her face furiously. "It's ok…"

Another look at Amy, and Penny's lips started trembling. "Why… why do I feel like this? I shouldn't be feeling this lonely."

"It is perfectly understandable." Amy calmly explained. "Leonard's absence has left a hole in your daily life that cannot be filled by any member of our social group in quite the same way or with quite the same frequency. A loving, lively and sociable person like you, spending all those empty, solitary hours alone, is bound to feel miserable."

Seeing that Penny didn't seem any more reassured, but was in fact more on the verge of tears than ever before, Amy tried a different tactic: advice. "Unless you can find a temporary substitute elsewhere."

She paused for a moment, considering her own suggestion, then sternly waved her finger at her now puzzled best friend. "And that is a _bad _idea, Penny! You will not do that! I will not let you do that!"

Penny stared at her for another second, speechless, before she helplessly started crying. "Why are you saying these things to me?! You know I would never do that!"

"Oh, I know! I know!" Amy enveloped her in a clumsy hug. "I'm sorry!"

Just then, the door to 4A opened behind them.

"Oh! There you…" Sheldon stopped, his expression changing to discomfort at the sight of the weeping female in front of him. "Oh, dear…"

He started fidgeting in the doorway. "Good morning, Penny."

Penny barely acknowledged him with a quick succession of nods against Amy's shoulder.

Sheldon looked at his girlfriend. "Why is she weepy?"

"She's feeling lonely…" Amy explained.

"Lonely? How can she possibly feel lonely? She is constantly in our presence." Sheldon replied, bewildered.

Amy gave him an angry look. "Sheldon! Don't say that! That is not helpful!"

"But it's true!"

"Sheldon! I'm trying to help here!"

Sheldon threw his arms in the air, pivoted on his heels and walked back into the apartment, leaving the door wide open.

"He can be so indelicate!" Amy scorned, shaking her head.

Penny snorted at the irony, and her breathing slowed down. "Can we watch a movie tonight? Help me get my mind off things?" She asked, as she slowly disentangled herself from Amy.

"Well, it's the third Thursday of the month…"

"Right… right… Date Night, you're right." Penny acknowledged, apologetically.

Amy nodded. "Yeah."

"You have a boyfriend. Your boyfriend is right here…" Penny sniffled again. "You can see him every day. You go on dates… You… you spend evenings with him…." her voice started cracking once more.

Amy panicked and searched her brain for a solution, eager to prevent any more crying. "Maybe… mmm… maybe we can do something after Sheldon and I get back?" she asked.

They heard a throat clearing behind them and turned to find Sheldon standing there, a hot mug in his hands.

"There you go." He presented the warm beverage to Penny, who took it with a teary, but touched, smile.

"Thank you, Sheldon." She sniffed once more, taking a sip of the drink.

Amy smiled up at her boyfriend, pleased with his caring gesture.

"You're welcome." He nodded. "Now that the weeping has stopped, I am going to be running late. Which one of you is taking me to work?"

The smile on Amy's face turned into a roll of her eyes. "Sheldon! She is distressed, can you be less self-centered for a minute?"

"Oh, it's ok, Amy. He's right, we're all going to be late for work." Penny interrupted her, sounding a bit calmer. "I will see you tonight, anyway. We can have some good girl-bonding time."

"Tonight?" Sheldon looked taken aback. "Amy can't see you tonight."

"I told her I'd stop by after we come back from our date". Amy explained.

Sheldon stared at her, disbelief evident across his face.

"But Aim-eee!" The way he pronounced her name when he wanted to convince her of something always elicited in Amy a reaction between annoyance, tenderness and desire.

So she closed her eyes as he continued. "It's our Date Night tonight!" he insisted, emphasizing 'Date Night'.

"Yes, and we are going to go on our _Date Night_. Like I said, I'll go be with Penny after our date."

"But Amy!" He whined like a stubborn child. "We have that _thing_ tonight."

"I said I am not cancelling Date Night, Shel…"

"Amy!"

She observed her boyfriend as he bobbed his head twice, slightly leaning in her direction, eyes asking a question beyond the words. "We have _*that* _thing _after_ the date tonight."

"Wha… Oh… Oh!" Amy finally caught onto what he was trying to convey, and she became suddenly extremely conflicted herself.

Staring confusedly at the pair, Penny interjected. "Oh, you don't need to, Amy. Really. I don't want to ruin your evening plans…"

"Indeed." Sheldon nodded.

"I'll be… fine…" she started crumbled again. "I'm getting used to… being alone… really." She wiped at her eye.

Amy looked at her friend with mild aggravation now, wondering what had suddenly gotten into her to be so dramatic. She then turned to look at her boyfriend, who was standing there, hands on his hips and head leaning forward in an expectant manner at her.

She sighed, and swallowed hard, making her decision. "We… we're just going to have to…" she looked at the ceiling, to avoid looking at his eyes. She needed to be resolute. And be a good friend. "We will have to cancel that thing, this time."

Amy exhaled, feeling a little deflated and suddenly wanting to curse her blonde bestie for having emotional breakdowns at inappropriate times.

But Sheldon wasn't done whining.

"So we are just going to throw a new schedule in the wind a less than 3 months after implementing it?" He asked, accusingly.

"We are not throwing the whole schedule to the wind…" Amy brought a head to her temple, feeling a headache coming on. "It's just one time."

"Sure, have no concern for the disruption to my schedule and routine!"

Sheldon's increasingly high-pitched voice suddenly transformed her frustration into anger.

"_Your routine_?" she narrowed her eyes at him.

Sheldon looked as if flinching back at her angry tone, but it only lasted for a millisecond. With a barely perceptible bob of his Adam's apple, he straightened his shoulders to make himself look taller and delivered his final statement. "You know, maybe we should just cancel Date Night altogether, since we are living in total chaos now!"

Amy's patience was finally depleted, and the scales of duty in her head suddenly tilted massively in Penny's favor. "Oh, yeah? Well, maybe we should!"

And with that, Amy took a step back into Penny's apartment and slammed the door in a stunned Sheldon's face.

* * *

"Did you just cancel your Date Night?"

Penny finally spoke, breaking the silence she was stunned into by the argument she had just witnessed.

Amy hadn't realized she had been breathing heavily until Penny's voice reached her ears. She shivered as the adrenaline left her body and doubt, mixed with guilt, started creeping in. "I… I don't know…"

Penny rose on tiptoes to look through the peephole. A distorted version of Sheldon's face was still staring open mouthed at the door. He raised a hand to knock, looked to one side, than to the other, pursed his lips and lowered his hand back down.

She watched as he meekly made his way back into his apartment and slammed the door.

"I just…" Amy was stumped for a second. "I'm not sure what the protocol is right now. We never canceled anything without the … 48-hour notice."

Penny turned back to her. "The protocol?" she asked, with a raised eyebrow.

Amy kept rambling on. "Am I meant to go anyway? I cannot just not show up; it's after the 48-hour notice period." She paused. "But I shouldn't show up either, he's being ridiculous."

"Why was he so upset over this? I thought you said that lately he had started making all sorts of excuses to get out of Date Nights?"

"Oh, no… Well… Umm…" Amy stammered, looking everywhere but at her.

Penny narrowed her eyes, watching as Amy started breathing heavily again and her face changed three shades of crimson. "Amy?"

"He has… stopped complaining." Amy nodded vigorously. "We have decided no more fancy restaurants and formal attire, so he is much… happier… with our current Date Nights." She blinked very fast.

But Penny wasn't letting the bone go. "Really? That's all it took?" she crossed her arms and walked up closer to the smaller woman, making her back up anxiously against the door. "What's the _thing_ you had on tonight after your date?"

"Oh… that?" Amy asked, trying to buy time and blushing even more.

"Yeah. _That_…" Penny prodded.

"Oh. Well… We were… Ummm… we were planning to go dancing. Yes." Amy nodded some more, pleased with her own answer.

"Dancing? You and Sheldon?"

"Yes. You know… that… dance soiree we went to years ago with you and Bernadette?"

"Uh, uh…"

"We were going there. To have a lesson. Yes."

Penny shook her head at her friend's inability to lie under pressure, but given the glistening of perspiration that was starting to break through Amy's forehead, decided to let it go. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you guys are having sex."

They both were jolted by a knock on the door.

*Knock knock knock* "Penny and Amy?"

*Knock knock knock* "Penny and Amy?"

*Knock knock knock* "Penny and Amy?"

The two looked at one another, and Penny shrugged. "Well… one of us has to take him to work…"

"Damn it, you're right." Amy looked at the floor, dejected. She then took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders out. "I'll take him. I need to sort out my evening, after all."

* * *

Amy stopped the car outside 2311 Los Robles, bringing the silent ride back from the ice cream parlor to an end.

When she had discovered the place on her drive back from work the previous week, she had thought the giant, elaborate bowls of delicious gelato, large enough to count as a main course, would be a perfect option for dinner in the middle of a heat wave. Sheldon, unsurprisingly, had thought otherwise, commenting on how having ice cream for dinner was just as absurd a notion as brunch; a meal designed for people who don't know how to plan their days properly.

So Amy had been very surprised when, during their ride to Caltech that morning, Sheldon had himself suggested to have ice cream for dinner on their Date Night. She presumed it was his way of extending an olive branch over the awkward confrontation at Penny's door. And she didn't know whether to be more shocked about the fact that he conceded to have dessert for dinner or the fact that he had sought to make amends on his own.

A sudden burst of lightning made them both look up through windshield at the darkening sky. They sat staring at the clouds until thunder loudly broke the silence. They each mumbled a few words to themselves for a few seconds, before turning to each other.

"According to my calculations, I estimate we are approximately 5.8 miles away from the center of the storm." Sheldon stated, confidently. "You should therefore have plenty of time to safely drive home."

"And I think you're incorrect." Amy challenged him, turning off the engine. "Accounting for humidity as well as temperature, we should be about 6.7 miles away. But, considering that the delay between lighting and thunder in the last 20 minutes has decreased from 24 to 21 seconds, the storm is actually coming our way." She reached in the backseat for her purse. "In any case; I will be just fine, since I am going to Penny's."

"Right… Penny." Sheldon's expression clouded over and he nodded curtly, getting out of the car with a huff.

With a quick, annoyed look at his back, Amy followed.

Silence descended upon them again, as the couple made their way into the building. One more burst of lighting broke through the sky as they walked into the lobby, and they stopped their silent ascent on the stairs at the sound of further thunder. The two looked at the ceiling, before resuming their climb and blurting out at the same time:

"Approaching."

"Retreating."

They stopped again and stared at each other upon reaching the landing between 4A and 4B.

Despite her attempt to hide it, Sheldon didn't fail to notice that Amy had instinctively started following him toward his door, before stopping herself and taking a couple of awkward steps back.

He stared at her.

She cleared her throat.

Nobody moved. Nobody spoke.

Amy pointed over her shoulder at the door behind her, the keys in her hand jiggling in the silence. "I… I am going to go."

Sheldon just nodded, expressionless.

Amy looked down at an indefinite spot on the wall to the left of his leg, and, just as she turned to walk over to 4B, she heard him say her name and take a step closer. "Amy?"

She turned again to find him awfully close up, and her heart rate increased just a little. "Yes?"

"Seeing as my schedule for the night has been… altered…" he swallowed, as he searched for the right words. "I am going to be doing some work."

Amy frowned, confused as to why he was telling her this. "Ok…"

"If you…" Sheldon stopped, looking at the door behind her instead of her. His voice took on an uncharacteristic warm tone. "Send me a text before you go home, I might still be awake." With that, he bashfully looked back down at her, and she went weak in the knees a little.

Before her giddy brain could catch up with the meaning behind his request, the adrenaline in her system forced the first thing that popped into her head to come out of her. "I am probably going to be much later than your bedtime."

As soon as the words left her mouth, she instantly wanted to shove them right back in, while she observed Sheldon's look turn gloomy and his body retreat from hers.

"_No, no, no! What the hell did I just do?"_ She mentally slapped herself again and again and suddenly felt cold, as if the extra inches separating their bodies were enough to cause a sudden drop in shared body heat.

"Never mind." Sheldon looked at the floor again.

He stole one last glance at her, and she saw that look in his eyes that she was sure to have sported herself dozens of times before.

_Rejected_.

"You have a good night with Penny. Send her my regards."

And with that, he disappeared into his apartment.

* * *

"My apologies." Leonard says sarcastically, as he stands on his feet and ceremoniously waves his hands at Sheldon and Amy's spots, motioning for them to sit. "Please."

Sheldon is quick to reclaim his spot and pick up the tv remote, and Amy makes a detour around the coffee table to reach hers.

As he makes his way to his desk, Leonard spots her stumbling slightly as she steps on something on the floor. She quickly bends over to pick it up and, in the blink of an eye, she is sitting next to Sheldon, looking slightly flustered.

As he waits for his laptop to boot, Leonard turns his head slightly to look at the pair.

He observes as Amy nudges Sheldon's knee lightly with her own, distracting his roommate from the television. Sheldon brings his eyes to the closed fist she's presenting him with, and, as his gaze sets on her hand, her grip releases and the D&D die appears in her palm.

They awkwardly stare at each other, seemingly embarrassed, for a couple of seconds. Then, eyes still linked, Sheldon slowly reaches out to shyly grab the die. But as soon as it's transferred to his hand, the shyness is gone and he shoves it in his pocket in one quick motion.

Shifting uncomfortably in his spot, Sheldon's eyes dart to Leonard, as if to ensure their exchange has gone unnoticed.

It hasn't.

_Curses_.

"That reminds me… " Leonard speaks. "You're up as Dungeon Master next month, Sheldon. I'm too swamped with finishing up this project right now to think of that. And Howard said he and Bernadette want to prepare a joint one next time but she's too busy to do that now. So it's on you."

"What?" Sheldon replies, in a high-pitched voice. "What reminded you of _that_, of all things?!"

Leonard frowns. "The die? The one we found in the couch and Amy just picked up from the floor?"

"Oh. That."

"Yes. _That_." Leonard's confused frown deepens.

As Penny makes her way back from the kitchen, she stops by Leonard's chair and rests her hands on his shoulders, massaging them. "Well, you guys have fun… you can count me out this time."

Leonard's puppy-dog eyes are immediately trained on her. "Please, Penny! Everyone is playing now! You really want to be the odd one out?"

Penny shakes her head in apparent disbelief. "Oh my God. If only I could tell 20-year-old me that I'll one day be the odd one out because I don't want to play fantasy role play games..." She looks down at him with a grin on her face.

Leonard smiles back. "By the way…" he looks back over at the couple on the couch. "What is up with all the dice around the place? I found one in the spare razorblades drawer the other morning."

Just when Leonard thought it wasn't physiologically possible, the two blush even more and Amy chokes on her water.

At that, Sheldon suddenly jumps up from the couch, grabbing Amy by her arms and lifting her up from her seat like she's a sack of potatoes. "Amy's late! She has to go! I'll walk her to her car!"

Leonard and Penny exchange a puzzled look as they watch him push his girlfriend out of the apartment amidst her protests. "Sheldon! My purse!"

Sheldon lets her go long enough for her to go back to the couch and pick up her bag, but Amy then shuffles across just as quickly to the door, avoiding the eyes of Leonard and Penny.

She turns to Sheldon at the door. "You don't need to walk me to my car, I'll be fine. I'll see you tomorrow for Date Night."

In that moment, the pieces all come together in Penny's head and she meets Amy's eyes in the doorway, mouth agape. "_THAT thing_!" She exclaims.

"What thing?" Leonard turns around, now more confused than ever.

Amy panics and slams the door shut.

Immediately, Sheldon rushes to the back of the apartment and to his bedroom. "Goodnight!"

"Oh my God!" Penny runs to the front door, and, without saying goodbye, she runs down the stairs, chasing after Amy.

In less than a minute, Leonard is left sitting, alone, in the middle of the empty living room.

"Well… Goodnight, everybody."

* * *

**A/N:** Aaaaand, that's it for this one. I didn't get this chapter beta-ed since I finished it last minute and I was really eager to put something up, so if you notice any typos/grammar errors that I didn't spot, I apologize.

I'll hopefully update again next week, but don't quote me on it.

*jingle*


	5. Chapter 5: The Nocturnal Concession

**Chapter 5: The Nocturnal Concession**

**Summary: **Sheldon could be Iron Man. Amy could be reading comic books. A carefully scheduled evening may not go according to plans.

**A/N: **Another rogue, unbeta-ed chapter from yours truly. So, as last time, apologies for any typos, grammar mishaps and what-nots. I have been totally swamped with work, so meeting my deadlines is becoming a real challenge at the moment, let alone finishing a draft in time to get it beta-ed. That, and I have to admit that a certain recent interview by Steve Molaro had kind of taken the wind out of my sails for this story.

But, while I'm a still a little rattled, like a flag over Fort Sumter, I'm still here.

I'm really appreciating all your kind reviews, favorites and follows. Thank you all for taking the time to read this and comment. It really means a lot to me.

Usual disclaimers. If I owned TBBT, I would not be Kanye-ing interviews (or Mayim's hypothetical Emmy win).

* * *

Leonard pats his pockets a couple of times, ensuring his car keys are in his jeans and his wallet is in his jacket. Switching off the light in his bedroom, he makes his way out into the living room to pick up his laptop and bag.

"Everyone is working hard tonight, huh?" He addresses Sheldon and Amy, sitting in their spots and engrossed in some reading.

"Mmm, mmm…" is the only reply he gets from the pair, noses buried into a physics journal and a comic book, respectively.

Leonard stops to stare at them, then leans forward, squinting his eyes at the booklet in Amy's hands. "Are you… reading a comic book?"

But Amy, legs neatly curled up under her and forehead scrunched in concentration, doesn't even notice the question and continues flipping through the pages.

It is Sheldon who finally raises his head from his journal.

He first looks at his girlfriend, with a mildly proud smirk, and then at his roommate. "Yes. She is. She has been overworking herself lately, so I have forbidden her from reading any work-related material on any Reading Nights this month, commencing tonight."

"Oh, of course. The magical, weekly evenings of silence…" Leonard sarcastically comments, eliciting an enthusiastic nod from Sheldon.

"Well, you guys enjoy your _Reading Night_. I'm going back to work to try and finish up this analysis." He throws the strap over his shoulder and adjusts his jacket. "Don't wait up for me, I may be late." He jokes.

The joke is lost on Sheldon, who raises his eyes from the journal again with a quizzical expression. "Why would we wait up for you?"

Leonard shakes his head. "Never mind. Have a good evening." And with that, he is out of the door.

"Wait up for him." Sheldon snorts. "I think Penny has been spoiling him a bit too much since his return. He is starting to develop some bizarre expectations."

"Mmm, mmm."

He turns to stare at Amy, whose frown of concentration has deepened even more.

"Amy, I am pleased that you are developing a fondness for comic books. However, I find your level of concentration slightly puzzling." Sheldon observes. "Granted, they are great works of literature, but someone of your intellect shouldn't require so much focus to be reading these."

"Mmm, mmm…"

Amy's frown doesn't lessen, but one of irritation now appears on Sheldon's forehead. "Amy, are you even listening to me?"

"Mmm, mmm…"

Sheldon shakes out his journal in front of him, and settles back against the cushions with a puff of his cheeks.

"Curse you, Tony Stark…" he mutters, as he resumes his reading.

* * *

The box made contact with the coffee table with a thud, shaking the piece of furniture on its legs, and Amy worried for a moment the glass surface was going to crack.

"This is the last one." Sheldon announced, wiping his hands on his thighs and turning around to his whiteboards. Amy stared wide-eyed at the boxes full of comic books that covered the coffee table, couch and floor.

He picked up a marker and penned down a '14' in the last row of the grid he had mapped out. "These boxes are currently sorted alphabetically, by theme. We will re-organize them by theme and publication date."

"Wow. That's… a lot of boxes." Amy spoke, slightly overwhelmed. "And a lot of comics…"

"3220 issues, to be precise." Sheldon announced, handing her a pair of latex gloves.

Amy took them from him and looked at them questioningly. "What are these for?"

"Boxes number 9, 10 and 11: rare, vintage and mint condition comic books."

Amy shook her head to get the disbelief out, surveying the boxes once more. "Sheldon, it's 8pm, we are never going to finish all this in an hour. We should have started much earlier."

"Nonsense. There are two of us. Following my carefully outlined plan…" he pointed to the other whiteboard, which indicated a timeslot for the sorting of each box, which were divided evenly under the names 'Sheldon' and 'Amy'. "… we will be finished no later than 9.30pm. Give or take 10 minutes for drink or bathroom breaks."

Amy kept staring at him skeptically, as he started taking books out of the first box and waddled over to his spot, sitting down with a pile of comics on his knees.

He raised his eyes at her. "What? Chop, chop!"

* * *

"Sheldon! I need your help!"

The relatively silent and efficient evening, was suddenly interrupted by a frantic Penny.

"And good evening to you, Penny." Sheldon greeted her, without stopping his coordinated movements as he slotted issue after issue in their new, appropriate order.

Amy waved her fingers at her bestie, as much as she could while carefully holding Sheldon's precious vintage comic books.

"What are you wearing?" Sheldon took in her appearance. "Are you auditioning for a 1990's aerobics video."

Penny stopped on her way to the couch and looked down at her shorts, socks and loose, wide-collar t-shirt. "No, I'm not… wait. What do you know about 90's areobics videos?"

"I have a sister. And a mother. And eidetic memory. "

Penny stared at him for a second. "Anyway…" She shook the thought out her head. "I need you to help me sort out my computer… or my connection… or… well, your connection in this case. I'm trying to Skype Leonard and it's even worse than usual."

At this, Amy raised her head from the comics she was sorting and smirked at the combination of her outfit and evening plans.

"There's nothing wrong with _my_ connection." Sheldon emphasized the possessive pronoun. "It's more likely to be your computer that is overflowing with junk, spyware, and probably one or two viruses you caught by clicking on links that look suspiciously like a Ukrainian branch of Amazon."

"Hey, I wanted to send Leonard that cool waterproof toothbrush holder and needed it to get there fast. I thought Amazon-dot-uk-dot-uk was a British site!" She replied defensively. Then frowned. "Come to think of it… the prices were a bit too good to be true… These Hungarians!"

"Ukrainians."

"Same thing." Penny waved her hand dismissively at him.

Sheldon sighed loudly. "Regardless… Is the video freezing again?" He asked, picking out some more comics out of the box. "If that is the case, I told you countless times you just need to reset the TCP/IP stack."

"Sheldon, the only stack I know how to reset is the stack of booze in my refrigerator." Penny put her hands on her hip. "Please, come have a look?" she begged.

Sheldon rolled his eyes, but put one last comic book in its sleeve and rose from the couch. "Fine. It shouldn't take too long." He turned to Amy. "I'll be right back, don't slack while I am gone."

With a wave of his finger at her, he followed Penny out of the door.

* * *

"Good Lord, this evening has now been officially derailed!"

Sheldon stomped angrily back into the living room, slamming the door behind him, enraged.

At the sound, Amy jumped in her seat, startled. She looked at the neatly packed boxes lined up on the floor, then checked her watch: 10pm.

"Aren't you being a little dramatic? We only finished half an hour behind schedule." She waved at the boxes in front of her. "Or, should I say, _I_ finished half an hour behind schedule?" she smugly smiled at him. "Am I efficient or what?"

Sheldon looked at her as if she had just grown a second head. "Finished? We are barely halfway through."

"What? I thought you said that was the last one?" Amy pointed to box number 14 on the whiteboard, now ticked.

"The last DC Comics one, yes." Sheldon walked up to the whiteboard and, with a flick of his wrist, flipped the surface over on its stand to reveal the other side, which displayed an equally long list of boxes, timings and duties. "There are all the Marvel boxes in my room to sort out now."

Amy was sure her eyes nearly bulged out of her head at the sight, and felt slightly dizzy at the thought of having to spend another inordinate amount of hours sorting through comic books. There were few things more psychologically exhausting than thinking she was done with a task, only to discover there was even more left to do.

"Can't we just finish tomorrow?" she asked in a small, hopeful voice.

"Of course we can't." Sheldon immediately shot her down. "First of all, the notice I gave you specified this evening only. It would be a breach of the agreement to ask you to help two days instead of one. I'd have to put in another request and wait 48 hours, and that would throw off my schedule even further."

Amy pinched the bridge of her nose. It was typical that this would be the one time Sheldon decided to use the Relationship Agreement so 'generously'.

"Secondly," he continued. "I am cleaning the apartment tomorrow morning. And the rest of the day is already neatly scheduled, as you are aware."

Knowing there was no use in arguing, Amy rose from her seat with a sigh. "Fine. Let's get it over and done with, shall we?"

* * *

"I like Pepper." Amy commented, shifting on the floor and resting her head against the side of Sheldon's bed. She curiously turned the pages to a comic in her hands. "She was badass in the latest instalment. I didn't know your dopey superheroes movies would concede to writing some strong female characters in them."

Sheldon snorted. "Of course they do. Have you never heard of Catwoman? Or Black Widow? Or Mystique?" he rose on his knees to reach over the issues of Iron Man spread in a neat line along the floor in front of him, and took some more comics out of a box. After picking up two booklets, he gently rested one in the gap between two issues and sat back on his heels.

"Although, there are actually some fairly substantial differences between the Pepper in the movies and the one in the comics." Sheldon said, flipping through the pages of the other. "In the comics she actually gets her own magnet and suit." He balanced the comic in between them and pointed to a picture, to prove his point. "And in the old classic comics Pepper was originally married to Happy Hogan."

"Well, I guess she gets a better deal in the movies. She gets Robert Downey Jr." Amy smiled cheekily, barely moving her head against its resting place to look at Sheldon.

He suddenly shut the comic with a flick of his hand. "His name is Tony Stark, not Robert Downey Jr." He replied, with mild irritation in his voice.

"Po-tay-toes, po-tah-toes." She rested the comic she was holding into her lap and reached for the one Sheldon had just closed. "All I'm saying is that a rich, good looking, strong, and resourceful genius is probably a better catch than his chauffeur."

Amy took one last glance at the comic before adding. "Especially if he is Robert Downey Jr."

"I could be Iron Man." Sheldon suddenly blurted out, the irritation in his voice growing.

Amy lifted an eyebrow at him, amused. "Do you have a secret bank account in the Cayman Islands and a collection of suits in that broken elevator that I don't know about?"

He dismissed her comments by squaring up his shoulders. "I am a good-looking, resourceful genius." he pursed his lips. "I could be Iron Man."

She chuckled and sat up a bit straighter, turning to face him. "That you are." Amy reached one hand out to wrap around his arm. "Not sure about the muscles, though…" she teased.

As soon as she uttered the words, she felt Sheldon tighten his bicep against her hand. It didn't make much of a difference and she bit her lip, trying not to laugh.

Sheldon, on his part, looked even more irritated. "Well… the most important muscle in my body is very big, let me assure you of that."

The laughter died in Amy's throat and she nearly choked at the implication of that statement. Her hand left his arm and flew to her chest as, eyes wide, she coughed a few times.

While startled by her sudden coughing, Sheldon continued to stare impassively at her. When he tapped his temple, she started laughing out loud.

"Sheldon! The brain is not a muscle!"

"Of course I know that! It was a figure of speech!" he scoffed.

Amy wiped a tear from the corner of her eye, only to find him now smirking at her.

She chuckled some more.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, woman." Sheldon chided her, but with slight humor in his voice.

Once more, the laughter died in Amy's throat, and she stared at Sheldon, surprised at his grasp of his own accidental innuendo.

For a minute or so, they just stared at one another, out of their depth in a suddenly unfamiliar situation.

"Sheldon!"

Penny stormed into the bedroom, dishevelled and clinging her short, pink robe to her body, making them both jump.

She stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of the couple sitting close to each other on the floor.

"Oh! I'm… sorry, guys…." she stood there, wide eyed and stumped for a moment.

But it didn't last long. With a shake of her head, a look of determination mixed with desperation reappeared on her face. "I am having problems with the computer again!"

Sheldon closed his eyes in exasperation and turned to his neighbor. "Penny, I showed you what to do just under an hour ago. Now, I understand your sub-par brain might not be capable of finding solutions to IT problems on its own, but surely your memory span must last longer than an hour."

"Sheldon, I don't have time for your condescension right now! It's a different problem. Can you _please_ come have a look?" Penny begged.

"Did you just say condescension?" Amy looked up at her with an mockingly impressed grin on her face.

Penny narrowed her eyes at her. "Yes. I did, smarty-pants."

"Why are you in your robe?" Sheldon observed, as he got up from the floor.

Penny blushed bright red. "I took a shower!"

"In the middle of your video-chat?" Sheldon asked, confused.

Amy met Penny's eyes and brought a hand to her mouth to stifle a giggle.

"Yes." Penny nodded three times, looking at Amy and avoiding Sheldon's eyes.

"And Leonard just wasted time waiting online for you?"

"It was just a quick one… it is… stuffy in my apartment. Thank goodness it sounds like there's a storm coming!" She grabbed Sheldon by the arm and dragged him out of the bedroom. "Let's go, we haven't got long!"

"You keep sorting! I'll be right back!" was the last thing Amy heard, as her boyfriend disappeared down the hallway.

* * *

As Sheldon made his way back to his bedroom, nine minutes past midnight, the only sound that could be heard in the apartment was the hum of the fridge and the occasional rattling of windows against the wind.

"Well, this was certainly an irritating ev…"

He raised his eyes from the floor, and stopped in his doorway, slightly startled at the sight before him.

Amy was laying on his bed, unconscious, her body angled in an awkward position and her legs dangling off the side of the bed.

Once Sheldon got over the initial worry that she might have fallen victim to an aneurysm or a heart attack, and instead settled on the simpler, and more logical explanation of sleep, his irritation started growing again. How inconsiderate of her to just pass out on his bed, surrounded by comic books that they hadn't even finished organizing, especially after his carefully planned evening had already been compromised.

Sheldon took a couple of angry strides towards the bed, a reprimand bubbling up in his vocal chords.

He was half a step from the bed and with her name ready on his tongue, when she suddenly let out a long, soft sigh and turned to snuggle her face into his comforter, causing him to reflexively retreat back as if he had been bitten.

Unexpectedly at loss of words, and actions, he stood there and watched her slumber on, glasses tilted upwards, half digging into the mattress and half digging into her face.

After a couple of minutes of uncertain silence, Sheldon shuffled quietly toward the bed, and started picking up the comic books that were lined up around her like some sort of protective voodoo shield. He ensured they were in the correct order, before setting them down on his nightstand.

He turned back to Amy, her glasses driving him crazy.

Slowly and delicately, he plucked them off her face, causing her to squirm in her sleep some more. He froze, waited for her to settle, and then folded her spectacles, depositing them on top of the comics on his nightstand.

The gears in his mind turned once more, and he changed his mind. _"What am I doing? This is my bed. I need to wake her up and send her home."_

Sheldon reached a hand out to grab her shoulder and shake her awake. "Am…"

One of her legs blindly kicked out, trying to find some leverage to be able to move into a better position, and nearly hit Sheldon's groin in the process.

He managed to grab her foot just in time, with a very relieved sigh. His large hand slowly relaxed its grip around her slender ankle.

With a sigh of final surrender, he reached out for her other leg, and, with the ease he had acquired during the days he spent nursing her through the flu, he shifted her sleeping form into a more comfortable position on his bed.

Amy curled onto her side, bringing her legs up against her chest, and tucked her hands under the pillow.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, teeth brushed and Friday pajamas on, Sheldon was wandering aimlessly between his and Leonard's bedrooms.

"Good Lord, it's nearly one in the morning!" he muttered under his breath. "This is ridiculous."

With a deep sigh, he opened the door to his bedroom, leaving it open so that the light from the hallway could filter in, and quietly made his way to his bed. Amy was still in the position he had left her in, curled up onto the left side of the bed, so Sheldon made his way around to the other side.

He stood with the side of his body to the bed, and awkwardly bent his knees to sit down on the mattress.

One.

Two.

Three times.

Every time, he would get about an inch closer to the mattress and spring back up.

He circled the bed once, then circled back to the right side.

He cautiously folded a small corner of the comforter open, only to cause Amy to shift in her sleep and drop her open palm onto the pillow that was on his side of the bed.

"Oh, Amy…" he whispered, irritably. "Stop hogging the bed!"

Sheldon moved to the foot of the bed to fold the rest of the blankets and squirmed on his feet some more, picking an imaginary piece of lint off the bed sheets. And then another one.

He gently patted the pillow, then sat down on the very edge of the bed, almost slipping off the mattress.

As he gingerly tried to lift one leg, and then the other, onto the bed, Amy shifted some more, and he experienced a sudden case of tachycardia, jumping back out of bed, breathless.

"Nope! Can't do this!" He thought out loud, willing his racing heart to slow down.

He folded his side of the comforter over Amy's body, as if she were a human sandwich wrap. Softly caressing her index and middle finger with his own, he retreated to Leonard's bedroom for the night.

"Next time, _you_ take Leonard's room…"

* * *

Just as he's about to drop the keys in the bowl, Leonard hears a hissing noise originating from the couch, and he stops, keys dangling in mid-air.

Turning to the source of the sound, he sees his roommate raising a finger to his lips. "Shhhh."

Amy's fast asleep, the open comic book balanced precariously on her upper thighs, and her head tilted to her left, equally precariously balanced between the back of the couch and Sheldon's shoulder.

Leonard can't help but chuckle at the sight of Sheldon, sitting in his spot stiff as a board, his right side completely immobile, as he slowly lowers his left hand from his mouth to the journal to flick another page.

He puts the keys in the bowl quietly and makes his way towards his bedroom, mouthing "Goodnight" on the way.

Sheldon nods in acknowledgment, then turns his head and strains his eyes to check that his sleeping girlfriend hasn't been disturbed.

Satisfied that she's still asleep, he is about to turn his attention back to his reading, when something in her lap catches his attention.

A colourful figure captioned "Expression of PCDH17 along Corticobasal Ganglia Circuits in a topographic manner" stares back at him from the page of the alleged Iron Man comic she had been reading.

He sucks in a breath of outrage, but that slight movement causes her head to fall even more firmly against the side of his shoulder, and he sits still again.

"Deviously reading work-related material on Reading Night when explicitly forbidden to?" he mumbles through gritted teeth. "That is one breach for you, Amy Farrah Fowler."

Amy just presses her cheek further into the side of his upper arm, and snoozes on.

* * *

**A/N: **Yes, that is a real figure in a real article. Yes, the basal ganglia are cool. Possibly just as cool as Iron Man.

Thanks for reading, and I'll hopefully be back in a couple of weeks.

*jingle*


	6. Chapter 6: The Absentia Condivision

**Chapter 6: The Absentia Condivision**

**Summary: **Sheldon and Penny have nothing in common. Except on days like this one.

**A/N: **An unusual, LONG Tuesday update, mainly because I wanted this to be posted before spoilers from the premiere taping start surfacing and I either get accused of plagiarism, accuse the writers of plagiarism or get immensely depressed at how far off I am in my speculation and stop writing altogether. Which leads me on to my next point…

**BIG BOLD SPOILER ALERT!** This chapter contains mild spoilers for 7x01! If you have read Steve Molaro's interview in The Hollywood Reporter, then you're fine reading this. If you haven't, but are pondering whether to read on or not, I can tell you that the spoilers contained in here have to do with the general context of the episode in terms of where the characters are and who they are with. All major plot points and developments are purely out of my imagination and/or speculation about where I would like the episode to go. I'm probably way off anyway.

I decided to work the canon premiere episode into the story, as if fit with the plans I had for it. I hope this doesn't come across as a filler. It's actually very important as it sets up the basis for the rest of the story. It's also very long. But hey, it's an hour-long premiere, after all!

A massive thank you to LostInTheSun for providing the cover art for the story! And for so kindly advertising this fic on her Tumblr. And to mena, as always, for being such a great beta, working last minute with me to get this posted in time.

As a comment on my previous chapters, I guess there aren't many Trekkies reading this, since nobody picked up on the Vulcan kiss. Boooh!

I don't own TBBT, or I wouldn't be posting my plot to the season premiere a month before the airdate. And I wouldn't be answering Shamy questions with Shenny answers.

* * *

"Sorry we are late!" Amy greets the gang as she enters 4A, Raj in tow.

"Oh, finally!" Penny gets up from her seat, as Howard scoots over to the place she just vacated to make space for Amy next to Sheldon.

"Your food is probably cold now, you might want to heat it up." She picks up a few containers from the coffee table and hands them to the pair.

"Thanks, Penny." Raj checks the contents and, once satisfied, heads toward the microwave.

As soon as she seats in her spot, Amy starts digging into her food with gusto. "Oh, I don't care if it's cold. I am starving!"

"I saved you a dumpling." Sheldon holds a container between them for her to see. "I had to fight Wolowitz for it." He adds, proudly.

Howard shoots an acerbic look his way, shaking his head.

"Aw. Thank you, Sheldon." Amy smiles, touched by the gesture, and takes the container from him.

"You seem to be in a good mood, Amy." Leonard comments on her cheerful tone. "I take it your poking at Raj's brain is going well?" He smirks.

"She is not poking at my brain!" Raj protests, walking back toward the sitting area. He grabs a seat on the floor in front of Bernadette and deposits his food on the coffee table. "She's just recording from it."

He turns around to Amy. "Actually, Amy. You really need to make sure you have better shampoo in that lab of yours, I could barely get all that EEG gel off my hair." He holds a lock of hair in between his fingertips and rubs it with a disgusted expression on his face. "And maybe a hair dryer too."

Amy stares at him in disbelief. "I gave you shampoo _and_ conditioner."

"Well, fine. I'm sorry it is _so _much trouble." Raj rolls his eyes. "I'm going to have to bring my own toiletries tomorrow."

As Amy is distracted, Howard slowly scoots to his left and silently leans over to reach his fork into Amy's plate. Just as he's about to spear the dumpling, some movement on Amy's part causes the cushion beneath him to shift and he loses his balance.

As his hand is about to make contact with Amy's leg to stop his fall, the sound of his wife's voice pierces his ear. "Howie, no!"

Bernadette throws herself out of her seat and lunges at him, grabbing his upper body and pushing him away from Amy.

Howard ends up sprawled across the couch, his petite wife on top of him, and everyone staring at them, open mouthed.

"What the hell, Bernie?!" Howard exclaims, arms spread out to his sides.

"I'm sorry." Bernadette lifts herself up from her awkward position, and straightens her glasses. "But, trust me… You're welcome."

**- TPSO -**

Penny sat on the far end of the couch, hands tapping her knees and lips pursed in concentration. Her eyes wandered along the edges of the rug and across the floorboards. Then back again.

She opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again.

After another minute, she broke the silence. "How about we go out somewhere?"

"Well…" Sheldon pondered, from his spot on the other end of the couch. "I could use a lift into work. In your rush to get me to come down quickly yesterday, I accidentally left one of my notebooks on my desk."

"I meant to do something fun! Not to chauffeur you into work so you can pick up your notebooks, start working and ignore me for the rest of the weekend." Penny gestured in the general direction of his desk.

"Fun." Sheldon rolled his eyes at her. "Fine, where do you suggest we go for _fun_?" He asked, making air quotations.

"I don't know…" Penny perched on the edge of her seat, resting her chin on her hand.

"How about…" She tried to search her brain for a place both her and Sheldon would consider 'fun'. After a few moments of contemplation, and one look at Sheldon's blank expression, she gave up.

"Nevermind. We could put on a DVD?" she suggested.

"Star Trek?"

"No."

"How about the classic movie 2001: A Space Odyssey?"

"No. Do you have anything that doesn't have aliens, robots, spaceships, mutants, superheroes or that isn't animated?"

"Why would I own that?"

Penny huffed. "Fine. Wall-E?"

"I re-watched that just last week with Amy, I don't want to watch it again."

"God, you're being difficult…"

"_I _am being difficult?" Sheldon turned his body in his seat to face her. "You are in my apartment, and I am allowing you room for negotiation on the day's activities. How am I being difficult?"

"Whatever." Penny dismissed him.

Silence fell on the room again, for several long minutes, as the two sat deep in thought.

"We could play a board game?" Penny tried again.

"Settlers of Catan?"

"Pictionary."

"Risk: Star Wars edition."

"Candyland?"

"Scrabble."

Penny looked at Sheldon with an incredulous expression. "Oh, yeah… I cannot _wait_ to play Scrabble with you, Dr. Thesaurus."

"And I am not planning to lose precious brain-cells on games that requires my brain to just sit idle for twenty minutes. While two pawns pointlessly circle around a piece of cardboard."

Penny huffed again and crossed her arms against her chest, sinking into the couch cushions. After another couple of minutes she sprang up in her seat with a cheerful expression on her face.

"Chess!" she said, waving her finger at Sheldon. "I have beaten Leonard at chess before!"

He snorted, incredulously, and pulled his phone out of his pocket, ignoring her. "Sure."

"No, no. I am serious." She bobbed her head at Sheldon, challenging him. "Or are you scared of losing?"

Sheldon raised his eyes from the phone, looking at her with derision. "You are not beating me at chess. Not in this universe, nor in any alternate universe."

"Try me."

Sheldon contemplated her for a moment, before rising from his seat.

"Alright." He shoved his phone back in his pocket and went to pick up the box. "But we are going to play 3D chess."

* * *

"What are you doing?! Good Lord, you cannot move your knight like that!" Sheldon aggressively grabbed her pawn from the spot Penny had placed it in and put it back in its previous position. "And you say you can play chess?"

"I said I can play _normal_ chess! Not this… wedding cake style chess thingy!" Penny picked up the instructions again, peering down at the small print.

"Oh, goodness… Maybe when Leonard gets back he can give you lessons." Sheldon brought a hand to his forehead and closed his eyes in frustration. "Not that I'll ever play chess with you again. Why would I do that, if I have Leonard back?" He waved his hand flippantly at her.

Penny shot a sarcastic smile his way, before focusing on the instructions once again. She studied them for a minute longer and then reached out for her bishop. "So, if I want to move my Pope … over here…" she deposited the piece on the upper level of the chess board. "Can I?"

"Mmm…"

"Sheldon?"

"I'm sorry, what?" Sheldon shook his head and turned his attention from his phone back to her.

"I said, I am allowed to move my Pope over here, right?" Penny pointed at her move.

"First of all, it's a bishop." Sheldon corrected her. "And secondly, no, you cannot do that, you cannot move the bishop up two levels at once." He picked up her piece and undid her move.

"Uggggh!" Penny slammed the instructions down in the box. "You know what? Fine. I've had enough. I'm Skyping Leonard in 5 minutes anyway."

"In his last email he told me he would be busy wrapping up his experiments."

"Yes, that's why I haven't talked to him all week." she frowned and picked nervously at a hole in her jeans. "It's the longest I've gone without hearing from him since his first week at sea."

"Well, he will be back in just over a week." Sheldon commented, taking the chessboard apart and putting it back in the box. "Hardly worth losing any sleep over lack of communication at this stage."

"Oh, please!" Penny scoffed derisively at him, turning around in the armchair. "Amy's been gone less than 24 hours and you have been glued to that phone like it's your life support!"

"Excuse me!" He spun on his heels on his way to the bookcase. "That is because there is a clause in our Relationship Agreement to be in regular phone and/or electronic contact when out of town."

"And by 'regular' you mean every half an hour?"

Sheldon grumbled with irritation and clutched the box tighter in his hands. "My last text was… nearly an hour ago!"

With a smirk, Penny stood up from her seat. "Not to mention your daily emails to Leonard. Are those part of the Roommate Agreement?"

"I just extend him my precious professional advice. As I am Stephen Hawking's peer and friend, I am sure Leonard can greatly benefit from my input."

Penny's smirk grew even more at that. "Really? Does planning a schedule for his first three weekends back count as professional advice?"

"You should actually be grateful I am planning it all out, so we do not have to argue over what kind of activities we should all do together." He gestured to the room around him. "Since we've seen how well that's working out so far."

As she observed Sheldon turn around and hastily shove the box back in the bookcase, she decided to cut him some slack. "Listen, why don't we call Leonard together? That will give us something to do."

Sheldon turned around to face her again, and was quick to nod. "Very well."

* * *

It took several, long attempts before the chiming sound of the Skype call stopped and Leonard's face appeared on the screen.

"Hey, Penny!" Leonard greeted. He then seemed to finally notice his roommate, sitting next to his girlfriend. "And Sheldon, what a surprise!"

Penny and Sheldon waved at him.

"Hi, honey."

"Hello."

Leonard swayed on his chair and grabbed the edge of his desk to stop himself from falling off his seat. He chuckled really loudly, snorted and shook his head. "Oooooh, boy. This boat is wild today!"

He blinked a couple of times to bring the faces on his screen back to focus. "So, wassup, you guys?"

Penny and Sheldon exchanged a confused look, and turned back to the screen.

"We are… hanging out." Penny replied. "We were getting bored, and thought we'd call you."

"She said she beat you at chess. She calls the bishop "Pope" and she beat you at chess, Leonard. You should be embarrassed." Sheldon interjected.

Leonard waved a hand at them and leaned back against his chair. "Pffff! She did not beat me at chess! I just let her win." He slurred.

"Hey! I did beat you!" Penny objected. "Don't you try to save face, you sore loser!"

Sheldon ignored her and launched into a long lecture at his best friend. "Did you wrap up all your experiments? I hope you followed my recommendations and ensured your data collection was adequately optimized. Efficiency is the key in your situation, you won't be able to sail off onto a boat at your every whim if you think of something else once you're back in Pasadena."

"Yessir!" Leonard saluted him.

Sheldon rambled on, leaning his elbows on the desk and moving closer to the screen. "See? That is the problem with you manual laborers. You're so constrained by time and location and material resources. The only resource I require is this." He tapped his temple. "Isn't it nice to be able to work 24/7 if one chooses to?"

"Oh, Sheldon!" Leonard waved his finger at the screen, his eyes thinning. "A whole load of cash and dozens of physicists were involved in this project. Including your buddy, Stevie!" he giggled. "I am sure we have it all covered, dude."

Sheldon, taken aback by his friend's uncharacteristic language, backed off from the screen slightly. "Dude?"

Penny looked disgruntledly at the two. Fed up with the science talk, she reached out for the laptop and turned it slightly toward herself, changing the subject. "So you're going to be back on land tomorrow?"

"Yup! But I think things are going to be spinning for a while longer!" he hiccupped, and laughed out loud again.

"Leonard, have you been drinking?"

"Just a liiiittle." He replied, holding his thumb and index finger slight apart and raising them sup to the screen. He stared at them and moved his index up and down a couple of times, trying to decide on an adequate distance. Then, with a shrug, he gave up and turned to give Penny a big smile. "We're having this small party to celebrate, but it's pretty low-key, don't worry."

At that moment, a loud bang was heard off to the side of Leonard, followed by the sound of people running and yelling. "Cover! Cover! Run for cover!"

Sheldon and Penny jumped back in their chairs at the noise.

"What is happening? Leonard, are you on a warship?!" Sheldon asked.

"Oh, I can't believe they started without me!" Leonard slammed his hands on the table. His head disappeared off the screen as he leaned over to have a look, and proceeded to fall off his chair. "Umpf!"

"Leonard, are you ok?!" Penny yelled, alarmed.

An arm appeared on the desk, as Leonard raised himself up from the floor. "Yes, I'm sorry!" he laughed again. "We've built our own laser-tag vests and guns! I have to go play!"

Penny pulled the laptop even closer. "What? Wait! You're logging off already?"

"Yes, I'm sorry! We'll speak some other time! Bye!"

"We miss you, Leonard."

But with the blip of the call being disconnected, Leonard was gone.

* * *

Silence had descended again onto the room once Penny had slumped back in the armchair, sulking. "I can't believe I haven't spoken to him all week and he's out there… partying!"

Sheldon rolled his eyes as he made his way back from the fridge and placed a bottle of water on the coffee table in front of her. "You're not normally a great conversationalist, and I have to say your current moping is most definitely not an improvement on your usual chit-chat."

"Oh, shut up, Sheldon!"

"Gee!" he raised his hands in defense. "No need to get snappy."

Penny just threw him an annoyed sideway glance, as she twisted the cap on her water bottle.

"Well. Since my conversational needs are not going to be met here, _I _…" Sheldon regarded her with a smug look as he pulled out his phone from his pocket. "…am going to call my girlfriend."

He swiped and pressed the screen a few times and turned to face his desk, phone to his ear.

"Hello, Amy." He greeted in a cheerful voice.

He then suddenly pulled the phone away from his face, before brining it back to his ear. "I'm sorry, what?"

Sheldon lowered his tone and spoke through gritted teeth. "Can you please refrain from calling me that in public?"

He listened for a few more moments before frowning again. "Are you drunk?"

He put a hand on his hip and spoke with the authority of a school principal. "Amy Farrah Fowler! I thought you were there to work and attend lectures. Not to partake in debauchery at the hotel bar!"

"The hotel bar does not qualify as professional networking!"

"I am _not_ being ridiculous!"

Gripping his phone even tighter, he launched into a tirade. "May I remind you that you are the one who, for the past _three weeks_, has been allegedly _so_ busy with work that she could not find the time to dine with me at any point other than on our Date Night, who missed out on two Tex-Mex nights and correlated Laundry Nights - and that's excluding this evening -, who has cancelled five lunchtime phone calls, worked on Reading Night every week in the past month and who can't even pick me up from work anymore. And yet there you are, inebriated when you should be attending lectures!"

He finally paused to take a breath, but as he did so, Sheldon's expression suddenly changed from outraged to startled and confused. "Who is that you are talking to?"

"That most definitely did _not_ sound like Bernadette!"

"Amy!"

Sheldon stared at the now mute phone in his hand, dumbfounded and wide eyed.

He swallowed hard and then frowned.

"What happened? Has she been drinking too?" Penny inquired.

Sheldon nodded once, before answering, his voice unusually deep. "Yes."

He just stood there and continued staring at some undefined spot in front of him, biting his lip.

"Are you ok, sweetie?"

Sheldon shook his head and turned back to Penny. "I'm fine." He replied.

Albeit barely discernable, Penny noticed his chest rising and falling a bit faster than normal, as he shoved his phone back into his pocket.

* * *

"Come on! Just hurry!" Bernadette shouted, dragging Amy behind her.

Her little, unsteady legs were struggling to lead her much bigger friend through the hotel's corridors while at the same time trying not to bump into walls and doors.

"I'm trying! It's not easy when the corridors keep moving!" Amy blinked, and stumbled behind her like a broken kite, toward the door of their room.

Bernadette furiously swiped the card in the lock unsuccessfully a couple of times before the light finally turned green. She shoved Amy into the doorway, quickly surveying the corridor. Satisfied that they hadn't been followed, she slammed the door shut and leaned against it, taking a deep breath of relief.

She opened her eyes to stare down Amy, who had fallen backwards onto one of the beds, in disbelief. "My God! I can't believe you did that again!"

"I am sorry! He startled me!" she slurred, raising herself up on her arms with some difficulty. "I don't like random people touching me!"

"Yes! I NOTICED THAT! You and your elbows are going to get us all to Guantanamo Bay one of these days!"

"But he was the one coming onto me. It was mere self-defense." She mumbled as a justification.

The pitch of Bernadette's voice went even higher than usual. "He touched your knee for balance because he was about to slip off his bar stool!"

"Well, like I said… he startled me!" Amy crawled backwards toward the pillows and flopped back down again.

Bernadette started pacing the room. "What are we going to do now? We can't stay here. Even if we do not go to any of the lectures, chances are we are going to bump into them again." She stopped pacing. "They are probably already looking for us. We need to get out of here!"

"You can't drive, you've been drinking." Amy lifted her head slightly up from the pillow and stared at her petite friend with droopy eyelids. "You know that drinking makes you very paranoid?"

She snuggled back into the blankets. "It's interesting the different effect alcohol has on different people. Placebo effect for Rajesh, paranoia for you…. You wouldn't make a good CIA agent."

But Bernadette wasn't listening, she just kept pacing. "I never had to get out of this kind of situations before. I don't know what to do!"

"Actually, you wouldn't make a good CIA agent when you're sober either. You couldn't even spy on Priya without falling apart." Amy let out a really deep sigh. "I wish I could cut your brains open…"

She looked over to the bed, where Amy was slowly, but surely, falling asleep.

"I want Penny…" Bernadette whimpered.

* * *

"Sheldon, I am sure you have nothing to worry about, it was probably just a colleague." Penny observed, as her neighbor shoved spoonful after spoonful of Ben & Jerry's in his mouth.

Sheldon swallowed another mouthful of dessert before replying. "Who said I am worried about anything? I am just questioning her priorities."

Penny tilted her head at him. "Her priorities?"

Sheldon's timbre changed to a mocking, high-pitched tone. "_No, Sheldon, I have to prepare the slices today, I can't do lunch. No, Sheldon, I have to finish this manuscript now while I'm having insights, I can't do dinner. No, Sheldon, I can't take the monkeys with me in the car so I can come and check on your conjunctivitis._"

He stuck the spoon aggressively into the tub and continued muttering on. "But I bet that smooth-talking Mr. Bar loves to hear all about slices and manuscripts and monkeys."

"Sweetie." Penny tried to put on a reassuring tone. "I've spent all summer with you guys. You two ramble on about scientific jargon more than I've ever heard Howard talk about sex. I honestly doubt she is need of another man to fulfill her craving for science chat."

"Of course she isn't!" Sheldon rolled her eyes at her.

"Then what's the problem?"

"Penny…" Sheldon turned to look straight into her face. He seemed to ponder an answer for a moment, lips thinning in concentration. Then Penny saw his expression change, the determination fade, and his eyes darken slightly. "Nothing."

He diverted his eyes from her, and dug back into his ice cream. "It isn't something you would understand, anyway."

"Oh, get off your pedestal! We are in the same boat: You've been left behind for work, I've been left behind for work. But I am at least acting more mature than you are."

She re-wrapped herself up in Leonard's snuggle blanket, reached out for her own tub of ice cream, sprayed an inordinate amount of whipped cream on it, and sank back into the armchair. "And pass me the chocolate sauce." She demanded.

They both sat, staring at the silent phones on coffee table and eating their ice cream.

"That's not what I meant… It's just that…" Sheldon started, quietly.

But Penny's phone suddenly started chiming and her face visibly lit up as she quickly put down the ice cream tub to pick up her cell phone.

As soon as she looked at the screen, though, her expression turned into one of disappointment. She brought the phone to her ear. "Hello?"

Sheldon observed as Penny's eyes squinted in confusion and Bernadette's high-pitched voice screeched loud enough to be heard even off speaker-phone.

"Wait, Bernadette, you're not making any sense." Penny interrupted her. "What do you mean Amy's done it again?"

**-TPSO-**

"God, I am so full!" Penny stretches all her limbs out with a satisfied groan and raises up from the floor.

"Shall we go over to mine for drinks and girl-chat?" She blinks. "Actually, I could use some coffee." She shakes her head to wake herself up from her post-dinner slump. "Or coffee liquor."

"Ohhh, caffeine before bed. I feel rebellious tonight!" Bernadette giggles, getting up from her seat.

The two make their way to the door. "Amy, are you joining us?" Penny asks over her shoulder.

"I am!" Raj raised his fork in the air to announce his intention to join girl-chat and jumps up from the floor, eliciting a roll of the eyes in Penny and Bernadette.

"He can take my place." Amy chuckles.

Sheldon's face lights up with a pleased grin. "Yes, indeed. Amy can stay here and engage in meaningful conversation with us, for a change."

His face falls, however, when he sees her get up from her seat and reach for her purse. "Where are you going?"

"I'm sorry, Sheldon. I really need to go back to work tonight. The experiment with Rajesh took longer than expected today and it set me back on my schedule." She turns to Raj. "I'll see you in the morning, Rajesh. And no alcohol tonight. Or you'll confound my results."

"Sure thing, byeeee!" he waves, and runs after the other two girls out of the door.

Amy turns back to Sheldon, who has started gathering the empty plates and food containers on the coffee table. "I'll see you at dinner tomorrow?"

Sheldon just shrugs, avoiding her gaze. "Fine." He replies, curtly.

Amy, slightly startled by his brisk response, clears her throat and looks around at the other guys left in the room. "Ok, well… goodnight all, thanks for dinner."

"Night, Amy." Leonard waves at her, taking his leftovers to the fridge.

"Night, Sheldon." She reaches a hand out to lightly squeeze his shoulder, but as soon as she makes contact he gets up from the couch, following Leonard to the kitchen.

"Goodnight, Amy."

With one last look at his retreating back, Amy smiles tightly at Howard and heads for the door.

* * *

**A/N:** And that's it. The season premiere if it was up to me. I am sorry Shamy were apart for most of this chapter, but that was TPTB's decision, not mine. So, sadly, I had to work with what I was given.

I'm going to try and finish this fic within the very first episodes of the season. There's 4 more chapters left, and things are going to get a bit meatier. As you might have guessed from this chapter, the summer honeymoon is reaching its end.

So hold onto your hats. Or rather, hold onto your notepads and pens to keep track of things, because we are about to enter the Memento/Inception/How I met your Mother (depending on what concept you're more familiar with) phase of the story. If you thought what you read so far was just a collection of independent, disconnected one-shots… you are in for a little surprise.

I am going to give you what the writers don't want to give you: continuity! (You thought I was going to say coitus there, didn't you? You dirty minds.).

Yours truly, the whimsical CBS drone.

*jingle*


	7. Chapter 7: The Deficiency Sensitivity

**Chapter 7: The Deficiency Sensitivity**

**Summary: **Leonard discovers there's a new syndrome that causes Sheldon's mood to swing like a pendulum.

**A/N: 100 followers! **"Triple digits? Not gonna lie, feels pretty good".

Sheldon's quotes aside, I just wanted to thank you all for following and reviewing, despite my sporadic updates. My sincere apologies for the shameful delay in bringing this to you. I have not given up on the story, but real-life deadlines have sadly loomed over my head for the past two months, and I eventually had to concede defeat to them. But I have some more breathing space now, so, hopefully, I can get this thing wrapped up soon.

Thanks as always to my rockstar beta mena for sticking with me despite the increasing length of these chapters!

Usual disclaimers. I do not own TBBT. If I did, there would have been a Sheldon/Penny 3D chess scene in the premiere epis… Oh!

* * *

Sheldon bounces his leg impatiently. His eyes ever so often dart between the screen and his phone, sitting on the desk, next to his laptop. His already waning concentration is further diminished by the annoying, wet, smacking sounds of Leonard and Penny's lips from the couch behind him, as well as the occasional explosion and gunfire on the television.

"You know…" he starts, his back still to them. "I watched an interesting Youtube video about the evolutionary history of kissing the other day."

The wet sounds behind him stop. "Why were you watching videos about kissing on Youtube?" Leonard enquires, a hint of amusement in his voice.

Sheldon ignores him. "Did you know that the release of dopamine and oxytocin that promotes bonding during mouth-to-mouth kissing might be rooted in ancestral feeding behavior?"

"No, I didn't." Leonard cuts him short, and the wet, smacking sounds resume.

Sheldon clicks away at his laptop a few times, before continuing with his informative monologue. "Apparently, bonding between mothers and infants, and even between individuals, at a time were food and nutrients were scarce, could be promoted by passing pre-chewed food from one mouth to another."

The kissing noise turns into disgusted grimaces and gagging sounds, as Leonard and Penny break apart from each other, mood ruined. "Great. Thanks for the lecture, Sheldon."

Sheldon spins around in his chair, with a satisfied grin on his face. "My pleasure." He stands up and gestures over to them. "Now, out of Amy's spot please."

"Oh, come on, Sheldon!" Leonard lightly bangs the back of his head against the couch in exasperation, as his tall roommate turns around and heads for the fridge. "It's not like she's coming over tonight anyway. In fact, she hasn't come around all week. Is everything ok?" He asks, curiously.

Penny's eyes widen, and she frantically waves her hands in Leonard's face mouthing "_No no no!"_

Leonard squints at her questioningly, unclear as to what she is trying to tell him. But it's too late. Sheldon's shoulders tense and he stops dead in his tracks, spinning around on his heels once more.

"Here we go…" Penny sighs, brining a hand to her forehead.

"Just because your brain is currently under the influence of hedonic chemicals, which are leading you to believe your bond with Penny is of greater magnitude than your normal baseline, it does not give you the right to speak of my relationship with that level of sass."

"Sass?" Leonard is stuck speechless for a moment. "I wasn't being…"

"No, no! Don't think you can wiggle your way out of this!" Sheldon waves his finger in Leonard's direction. "I heard the sass in your voice. You think _I _have relationship problems?"

"_You_ heardsass in my voice?" Leonard squeaks in disbelief. "You can't even pick up sarcasm, what makes you think you can pick up _sass_?"

Penny, eyes closed, shakes her head and bites her bottom lip, as Sheldon rants on.

"Unlike you, I do not need my girlfriend to be present during every single waking moment of my life. You think I am as insecure as you are?" He slaps a hand hard against his sternum, towering over a baffled Leonard. "_I _am very secure in the knowledge that our relationship is solidly grounded in a very clear, detailed, written document. Just because Amy is not as responsive to electronic communications as usual, it does _not_ mean she is in any way, shape, or form, ignoring me. Especially because I have been very mature and understanding of her heavy workload. This, despite her _renewed_ low level of commitment to our activities, after merely two and a half weeks of resuming our regular schedule." He pauses to take a deep breath. "Aaaaand…"

At that moment, Sheldon's phone vibrates on his desk, and he suddenly stops in mid-sentence, rushing to pick it up.

"Wha…" Leonard turns to Penny, looking for help. "What on Earth is going on?" He whispers.

Penny gestures for him to keep quiet. "P-Ames-S."

**-TPSO-**

"Good morning, Sheldon!" Penny greeted her neighbor cheerfully as she let herself into his apartment, strutting off happily towards the bedrooms.

Sheldon, huddled on the couch in his robe and eating his breakfast, looked in shock at his watch. "6.45am on a Saturday morning? What is happening?" he looked up in stupor at the blonde. "Are you a bodysnatcher? If you are a bodysnatcher I'll have you know that measures have been put in place to protect this apartment and its inhabitants from pod-people like yourself. Pod-people-proof measures."

"Nope!" Penny's good mood was not diminished by his absurd early-morning ramblings. "I'm on a new, productive schedule. Starting this morning!"

"What is all that stuff?" Sheldon inquired, tilting his chin towards the box and balloons in Penny's hands.

"A few welcome-back decorations and presents for Leonard's room." She rattled the box in her arms, with a big smile on her face.

Sheldon frowned. "I thought you were planning on throwing a welcome home party tomorrow evening? I hope you haven't decided to cancel that, I had to postpone the seasonal inventory of my clothing in order to free up time to help you with the shopping."

"No, the party is still on tomorrow." Penny reassured him. "I know all of you guys want a chance to see him and welcome him back. And it will mean a lot to Leonard."

"Well, I shall see him in…" Sheldon checked his watch again and did a quick calculation. "Fourteen hours, six minutes and twenty three seconds."

"Make that sixteen. It will take us a while to get back from the airport." Penny corrected him, as she started making her way down the hallway.

"I am coming to the airport too." Sheldon declared, turning back to the television.

"No, you're not!" Penny's voice resonated from the back of the apartment. "I'm picking up Leonard on my own this time!"

"What do you mean I am not coming?!" Sheldon put his bowl down on the coffee table and sat up straight, clenching his hands over his knees. "I must come! Leonard is my best friend and I haven't seen him in four months! I even pushed laundry night back to 9.45pm!" he shouted back at her.

"Sheldon…" Penny's head re-appeared around the corner. "You will see him at home later. Leonard and I haven't seen each other in four months either. I'd like to pick him up on my own this time." She calmly explained, before disappearing again.

"Why? So you can have uncomfortable and awkward coitus in the car?!" Sheldon jumped up from the couch and followed her into Leonard's room. "After four months, surely you are capable of containing your baser urges until you reach a more appropriate setting than the airport parking lot!"

Penny rolled his eyes at him. "We are not having sex in the parking lot!" she started unfolding a '_Welcome Home'_ banner on Leonard's bed. "Besides, aren't you having cooking dinner with Amy tonight?"

Sheldon huffed and shook his head, his voice lowering but not sounding any less agitated. "No. She cancelled again." He reached down a hand to smooth down a corner of the banner that was creasing on the bed. "Her time-management skills have obviously taken a nose-dive recently. She cannot even fit her grants deadlines around our dining schedule."

"I'm sure whatever is keeping her busy is very important." Penny held out one end of the banner for Sheldon to hold. "Will you just help me with this for a second?"

Sheldon reluctantly grabbed the end of the banner as Penny walked over to the other side of the bed and picked up the other end. They shuffled towards the headboard together and Penny reached up to wrap the string around one of the lamps on the wall.

"Everything is very important lately…" he mumbled like a sulking child. "As long as it doesn't involve me."

He said the last part so quietly that Penny barely heard it. But she did. She tied a knot around one end of the string, while she pondered whether to pretend she didn't hear it or say something.

She stole at glance at Sheldon. "Well, the conference didn't go as productively as she planned. She is probably just trying to make up for that fiasco."

As soon as she mentioned the conference, Penny cursed inwardly, as she saw Sheldon's face darkening with anger at the memory.

"Oh, yes. There's that too!" He scoffed. "Hitting on people in hotel bars is also a priority of hers now."

Penny rolled her eyes at his melodramatic outburst. "She didn't hit on anybody, Sheldon!"

"She did!" Sheldon moved his elbow upwards a couple of times, while holding his end of the banner, and Penny's annoyance turned into amusement.

"Oh! That she did!" She chuckled. "Girl's breaking noses like they're china lately." She shuddered at the memory of having her own nose smashed by a close encounter with Amy's purse.

Sheldon, however, did not seem to appreciate the humor. His expression was still unhappy, but while Penny felt sorry for him, she also wouldn't budge on her need for some privacy with Leonard.

"Look, I know you've missed her recently…" she started.

"Penny, I have told you. It is not about anyone missing anyone…" Sheldon interrupted her. "It's about her total disregard for how her absence affects me."

"Right." Penny rolled her eyes again and returned her focus to the piece of string in her hands. "Well, if it's not about missing Amy, per-se, but about your precious routine, why don't you just stick to it anyway?"

"I can't." He deadpanned.

Penny frowned. "Why?"

"Because this is a routine I have with Amy." He explained, as if Penny was being deliberately obtuse.

"Well, find a substitute for once!" She motioned to Sheldon to keep tying the knot on his side of the banner. "Or… I don't know… make a cardboard cutout of Amy and stick it by the kitchen counter!"

Sheldon appeared to consider the suggestion, as he wrapped his end of the string around the other lamp. "Do you want to have dinner here tonight?"

"Sorry, sweetie. Bernadette is coming over. Why don't you ask Raj and Howard? I'm sure they'd be up for some free food?" Penny wiped her hands on her jeans, looking proudly at the banner stretched out over Leonard's bed.

A moment of silence followed before Sheldon spoke again.

"Do you have any carboard boxes?"

* * *

"What is that?" Sheldon pointed at the colorful donkey in Raj's hands.

"A peñata, obviously!" Raj explained with a massive smile, making his way into the apartment. "What kind of Mexican party is it, if you don't have peñatas?"

Howard shook his head behind him.

"Aaaaand…." Raj pulled out three sombreros from the bag he was holding and put one in on his head, before doing the same to Howard and Sheldon. "Outfits!"

Sheldon stood in the middle of the room, staring confusedly at Raj, then turned to Howard with a questioning look.

"I tried to stop him, I swear." Howard held his hands up in defense.

"It's not a _Mexican_ _party_!" Sheldon exclaimed, taking the sombrero off his head. "It's a _Tex-Mex dinner_!"

"Dude!" Raj stumbled backwards slightly, as Sheldon shoved the sombrero back into his hands. "You're in such a bitchy mood that, if I didn't know better, I'd say you haven't been getting any recently."

Howard sniggered. "Well…" he leaned closer to Raj and lowered his voice. "We _are_ here because the missus is unavailable for dinner, after all."

The two giggled, and Sheldon narrowed his eyes. "I have laundry to do in less than two hours. Let's stop loitering and get down to cooking, please."

He turned around and motioned for them to follow, gesturing to the pile of ingredients on the kitchen counter. "Peppers are already heating up on the stove, so please ensure they don't burn or overcook. Howard, you start on chopping the avocados. Raj, you cut the chicken." He announced, with the authority of a military general.

The pair stared at him, slightly dumbfounded. "What are you going to do?" Howard asked.

"Sorting my laundry for later, of course." Sheldon replied, as if he were stating the obvious. He gestured towards the counter again. "Hurry up. No work, no food." And he strutted off through the hallway.

"I told you we should have gone out to dinner." Raj hissed through gritted teeth. "I just had a manicure this morning and now I have to stick my hands in smelly, slimy chicken meat!"

Howard grabbed a seat at the kitchen island, dragging the bowl of avocados across the counter, to the chopping board. "Hey, I had to drop Bernie off at Penny's anyway!" He sighed. "It seemed like a reasonable idea at the time."

Raj took a seat across from him and inspected the knife that lay next to the chicken. "Ikea knives. What an insult to my cooking skills."

"Just shut up and start cutting that chicken, I'm starving!"

Howard started peeling the avocados, while Raj looked at him, unsure, before calling out. "Sheldon?"

"What?" came the reply from the back of the apartment.

"Can you come here a second?"

The sound of hurrying feet, followed by a lout exasperated sigh, anticipated Sheldon's breathless return to the kitchen. "What?"

"Are all your knives cheap Ikea knives?" Raj turned the knife around in the air for Sheldon to see, as if he had never seen his own kitchenware before.

"Yes?"

"Well, if you were planning on having me cook, you could have least warned me and I would have brought my own kit."

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "I have a schedule to keep, Rajesh. Please don't make me waste my time with pointless soliloquies." He turned and disappeared into the hallway just as fast as he had arrived.

Raj shook his head. "What a terrible host."

It was a while before Sheldon reappeared in the kitchen, depositing the basket that was under his arm by his desk. He surveyed the preparations on the counter, and frowned at Raj.

"How are you cutting that chicken?"

Raj shared a glance with Howard. "Um… in strips? Like you do for chicken fajitas?"

Sheldon walked up to the chopping board, and pointed accusatorily at the chicken strips. "But they're not the same length."

"Well, no… The chicken breasts are uneven and you have to cut away the fat and bloody parts. They can't all be the same length." Raj explained.

"But you can cut away parts of the longer ones. That way they are all equal-size cuts!" Sheldon picked up the knife and demonstrated to Raj. "See?"

"Are you saying you normally throw out perfectly good chicken because the cuts are not the same size?" Howard asked, snorting.

"Well, I usually make beef burritos. But no! Amy has decided she wants to cut red meat from her diet, as of two weeks ago." He waved his hands in exasperation at the chicken in front of him.

He turned to Raj and tipped him off the stool with a nudge of his elbow. "Let me take over. You are clearly inadequate for this task."

Raj gestured to Sheldon with his hands, eyes wide and fixated on Howard. "Are you listening to him?!"

Howard chuckled. "You are inadequate, Raj. Go play with your peñata, while we, chefs, finish up."

Sheldon raised his eyes from the chicken to look at Howard, who had resumed the task of mashing up the avocados in a bowl with a spoon. "What are you doing?"

Howard stared at him for a moment, before answering. "I'm making guacamole?"

Sheldon reached across the counter to rip the bowl out of Howard's hands. "We use the blender for that! How can you get uniform guacamole if you just… mush them up!"

Suddenly, he felt something slowly descend on his head. Sheldon's eyes rolled upwards to observe the tip of the hat now on top of his head. Upon recognizing his white Stetson, he diverted his gaze onto a sheepish looking Raj, who was wearing one of the sombreros.

He pointed at Sheldon "Tex". Then at himself. "Mex."

A few seconds later, Raj and Howard found themselves on the doorstep of 4A, the door slamming in their faces.

"Hey!" Raj shouted at the closed door. "You're not even going to give us just _something_ to take away for dinner?!"

"You idiot!" Howard slapped him across the back of his head and grabbed his arm to drag him down the stairs. "You're buying dinner!"

"Hey, I thought he liked dressing up! What is his problem?"

Back in the apartment, Sheldon rushed back towards the stove, making sure he stirred the peppers before they burned. Taking them off the fire and placing the pan on a mat on the kitchen counter, he took a long look at the empty apartment and the excessive amount of food in front of him.

He sighed, shoulder slumped, and made his way to his desk.

He pulled out a notepad, plucked a pen out of the penholder on his desk, and scribbled something on it. He walked back around the counter and set the notepad upright across from him, in front of an empty plate.

A sketched, long-haired, bespectacled face observed him from the white page of the notepad, with a smile.

"I don't even like chicken fajitas…" he mumbled at his inanimate companion.

* * *

Penny skipped joyfully through the apartment, picking up her dirty clothes and throwing them into the basket under her arm, as she attempted to reinstate a resemblance of tidiness in the room.

"Just over an hour to go!" she bounced around her living room with giddiness.

"Aw. I can't believe it has already been almost a year since I was in your shoes, welcoming Howie back from space." Bernadette smiled at her, taking a sip of her wine. "Which reminds me…" she put the glass on the coffee table and reached for her purse. She turned it upside down on top of the coffee table, presenting Penny with an assortment of small plastic pill bottles , which came tumbling out of the bag.

Penny sat down next to her and laughed out loud, picking up one of the bottles from the coffee table. "What is all this stuff?"

"Just a little something to ensure you are in excellent shape to welcome Leonard back." Bernadette winked. "Trust me, you can never take health for granted." She grimaced.

A soft knock on the front door interrupted them. "Are you expecting someone?" the smaller blonde asked.

Penny shook her head with a frown, and made her way to the door.

"Oh, hey Amy! What are you doing here?" she greeted.

But the brunette simply stretched her neck to peer over Penny's shoulder, and her face sank a bit upon seeing Bernadette on the couch. "Sheldon isn't here?" Amy asked, disappointed.

Penny's cheerful tone turned sarcastic. "Good evening to you too, Ames." She moved to let her friend into the apartment.

"Oh, sorry. Hello." She nodded at Penny and waved lightly at Bernadette.

"Hey, Amy. Want some wine?" Bernadette raised the bottle from the coffee table. "I can get you a glass?"

"No, thank you." Amy stood by the couch and turned around to face Penny. "I finished work earlier than I thought, so I went over to see Sheldon. According to his schedule he was meant to be cooking while he waited for you to drive him to the airport to pick up Leonard?"

Penny rolled her eyes and shook her head. "_Drive him to the airport_…" She sighed. "No, I told him I was going to pick up Leonard alone. So he moved his schedule back to normal. He's probably down in the laundry room now."

Amy sighed. "And sulking, I assume?"

"You know it!" Penny clicked her fingers at her.

"Apparently, he kicked out Raj and Howard earlier over some… hats. And avocados. Or something…" Bernadette frowned.

"Yeah, he gets ticked off easily these days…" Penny confirmed.

Amy brought both hands to her face and rubbed her eyes under her glasses. "Great."

The two blondes exchanged a look.

"You look awful, Amy." Penny commented, as Amy readjusted the spectacles on her face.

Amy snorted, unamused. "Thank you."

"No! I mean…" Penny reached out and rubbed her friend's arm a couple of times. "You look exhausted."

"I am." Amy pinched the bridge of her nose and squeezed the cartilage a few times, trying to release the tension. "Maybe I shouldn't have come over. I don't think I can deal with Sheldon in a mood, right now."

"I am sure he will be happy to see you." Bernadette comforted her, in a soft tone.

"Yeah. That's what gets him cranky like he's on his period, these days." Penny squeezed Amy's upper arm and winked. "When you're not available".

"He suffers from P-_Ames_-S." Bernadette added, and Penny burst into laughter with her, eliciting a small smile from Amy.

"I'm just so swamped at work right now. It's really hard to keep up with his… _our_ schedule." Amy looked down at her shoes. "I might have let things go out of hand a little this summer with all these new activities. And now I can't keep up."

"Oh, stop beating yourself up about it! He is the one being ridiculous!" Bernadette's voice suddenly turned screechy, and she slapped her hand on her thigh in frustration, startling the two.

Penny pursed her lips at the tiny blonde, before taking a step closer to Amy and peering at her downcast face. "Look. Yes. He is being a bit ridiculous. You haven't done anything wrong, and you have had good reasons to be busy. But you know how he is. This is nothing to do with schedules, really. He won't just come out and admit that he… misses you."

Amy gave her a tight-lipped smile, and saw Bernadette's expression soften a little.

Penny then stole a glace at the clock and suddenly switched out of comfort-mode. "But enough with the sad faces now. It's getting late and I need to go pick up Leonard." She grinned, a twinkle in her eye.

"Well, don't let me keep you." Amy waved her hands apologetically, and straightened her purse on her shoulder. "I hope you have a pleasant, exciting reunion."

"Thank you." Penny beamed, following Amy to the door, and holding the door open for Bernadette, who followed.

"I guess one of the perks of dating an undersized man is the adaptability to cramped locations for spontaneous amorous encounters." Amy added, as she walked off. "Make the most of it!"

Penny nodded a few of times before realizing what Amy had just said, but the girls had already disappeared from the landing.

"We are not having sex in the car!" she shouted in the direction of the stairs, just as her upstairs neighbors descended from the floor above.

Penny shut her mouth and smiled tightly at them. "But it's a good thing you guys are going out."

* * *

The smell of detergent and fabric softener filled her nostrils as Amy neared the door to the laundry room. She inhaled deeply, finding the scent somehow soothing, as she turned the corner and stepped into the room.

As Penny had promised, she found Sheldon intently folding his t-shirts on the large table in the middle of the room, the movements of his arms seemingly in sync with the rhythmic thud of clothes rattling at every spin of the drier. Amy stood there for a second, observing him, with a small smile on her face. His methodical motions, as he went about doing his laundry, had become strangely comforting and familiar to her over the course of the summer.

"Hey…"

Sheldon's head immediately jerked up from his purple shirt, half-folded on the table. In the span of a few seconds, Amy saw his face change from surprised, to almost joyful, to sullen, as he regarded her in the doorway. "Good evening, Amy."

He bit his lip, breaking eye contact, before looking at her square in the face again with a neutral expression. "What are you doing here? I thought you were working late tonight?"

Amy took the few steps separating her from him, running a hand along the table as he resumed his task. "I was going to. But it appears that I overestimated how long it was going to take me to finish the figures for the proposal." She peeked into the laundry basket, looking at the rainbow of colors the pile of t-shirts made. "I sent it off to the head of department for the final approval, so I should hopefully meet the Monday night deadline."

Sheldon merely nodded, folding the last of his shirts just as the drier beeped, signaling the end of another cycle. "Good."

Amy stood awkwardly by the table as he silently made his way over to the drier. "I hear you had Tex-Mex with Raj and Howard tonight?" she attempted to make conversation.

"I tried."

"They didn't know the procedure for the guacamole, uh?"

"Indeed."

She sighed at his curt responses, looking at his back as he leaned over to take his pants out of the machine.

_P-Ames-S indeed._

"I'm sorry I missed it again this week." She watched his movements pause for a fleeting moment, before he started taking out his socks from the bottom of the drier. "I'll hopefully be less busy come Tuesday. I promise I won't miss it next week."

Sheldon spun around on his feet, basket in hand, and deposited it on the table between them, taking out his plaid pants and smoothing them out on the table. He started folding them, still avoiding eye contact. "It's ok. Leonard is back tonight. My routine can go back to normal."

Amy felt a prickle in her heart at the words, but tried to dismiss it. "Penny told me she forbid you to tag along this time…" she teased.

"Yes." He shrugged. "Some nonsense about wanting to have some alone, quality couple-time."

The excessive bitterness in his tone did not go unnoticed by Amy, who cleared her throat and looked around.

"We haven't been to the cinema in a while…" she started, picking up a pair of socks from the laundry basket and folding them. She caught Sheldon sneaking a look at her folding hands out of the corner of his eye. "We could go with Penny and Leonard after dinner on Tuesday? I could use some mindless entertainment after the past few weeks."

Sheldon shrugged again, and kept folding his clothes. "Sure. I'll tell them."

_Still nothing._

"I also heard there is the opening of an exhibition on blackboards inspired by General Relativity the week after next…"

That piqued his interest. "Blackboards?" Sheldon enquired, stopping his folding and facing her.

Amy smiled. "Yes." She put another pair of his socks in the clean laundry basket. "They have some very rare blackboards, preserved from lectures Einstein gave in California in the 1930's, and also newer ones commissioned to other scientists and artists inspired by the theory."

Sheldon's expression turned into a grimace. "Artists interpretations of General Relativity?" he snorted. "What kind of hippy organized this exhibition?"

"I know. That was my reaction too." Amy bobbed her head in agreement. "But, artists' blackboards aside, the rest of it might be reasonably interesting. I thought it might be fun to go together?" Amy emphasized the word together, hoping to soothe his foul mood.

Sheldon looked at her for a moment longer, a bit too long for someone considering a simple suggestion for a visit to the museum.

Reaching into the laundry basket, he picked up two pairs of socks. He extended a pair of socks out, for her to take. "Yes. That might be pleasant."

Amy's eyes fixated on the garment, as she slowly reached out to take it from his hand, their fingers brushing in the process.

_Olive branches come in many shapes. _She mused, as Sheldon's expression looked much softer than it had just a few minutes prior.

"Good. We can make the arrangements over the next week." She smiled once more.

Sheldon nodded and no more words were exchanged, as the two silently settled back into the familiar patterns of Laundry Night.

**-TPSO-**

Sheldon swipes away at his phone, but his sudden alertness dissipates quickly into a frustrated groan. "And you know what's even worse?"

Leonard shares another look with Penny, looking for a cue on how to respond, but she just shrugs and gets up from her seat. "No?" he asks, uncertainly.

"This!" Sheldon shoves his phone into Leonard's face, showing him the latest text message he received. "Since the one time Penny made me order pizza from one of those God-forsaken franchise chains, I keep receiving these obnoxious text messages! I keep on waiting for a sign of life from Amy for hours and instead I receive messages about free Ben & Jerry's with any XL pizza?"

"Well… at least ice cream can soothe your mood-swings." Penny snorts, walking past him. "Works for me."

Sheldon narrows his eyes at her. "This is your fault." He sits down in his spot, arms crossed and pouting.

"Look, Sheldon… I know you miss hanging out with Amy all the time…"

"I do not m…"

"… but being passive-aggressive about it… "

"I am not being pass…"

"… like you _were_ the other night after dinner, isn't going to help."

As Sheldon has stopped listening and is instead swiping away at his phone again, Leonard snatches the device out of his hand. "If you unfriend me on Facebook again, I am not going to accept your friend request a second time."

Sheldon huffs and leans back into the couch, arms once again crossed on his chest. "Fine."

"Amy is already exhausted from work, she won't put up with your sulks. Why don't you try and do something nice for her for a change?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know. At this point, even you just admitting to her you miss her might actually make her day."

"Leonard, I'm a physicist…"

"_Not a hippie_. I get it, I get it." Leonard raises his hands up and stands. "That's all the advice I have, buddy. Take it or leave it."

Sheldon purses his lips for a moment, then holds his hand out, avoiding Leonard's gaze. "Fine. Can I have my phone back? I will text her that… her absence… is… somewhat discomforting."

Leonard smiles warmly at his friend and, after a moment, hands him the phone. "I am proud of you, Sheldon." He says, voice soft.

As soon as the phone is in his hand, Sheldon gets up from the couch, shoves it in his pocket and runs off to his room. " I'll tell her tomorrow…"

Leonard rolls his eyes, exchanging a look of defeat with Penny. She walks up to him, wraps her arm around his shoulder and plants an affectionate kiss on his cheek.

She whispers in his ear. "You better stock up on Midol."

* * *

**A/N: **3 more chapters to go. I have to admit, writing these is getting harder. Not just because life has taken over, but because S7 has started off so well that it's kind of hard to top. But, goodness gracious, they are getting LONGER. I'm sorry. I don't know what it is but I feel uncomfortable unless the chapter can fill a whole episode, these days.

Nonetheless, we are in the home stretch. I hope to have Chapter 8 up next week and the story finished by the start of November sweeps, fingers crossed.

See you soon, my sweet babboos.

*jingle*


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